


A Lesson In Life

by tv_addict007



Category: Castle
Genre: Alternate Universe, Caskett, F/M, Friendship, Las Vegas Wedding, Romance, Travel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-19
Updated: 2016-12-11
Packaged: 2018-08-16 02:27:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 26,262
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8083108
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tv_addict007/pseuds/tv_addict007
Summary: Trust, but verify. Kate Beckett loved to have control over all things concerning her private life and her job. But what will happen when she'll lose said control in one of those two aspects in her life? AU Caskett meeting.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone,
> 
> this one is the first chapter of a longer story of mine. Enjoy.

**Chapter 1**

Kate let out an annoyed sigh, glancing over the long line in front of her. She had no time for this, her team was one short while she was wasting her time here. They had a case, another victim she had to seek justice for. But her fiancé was a hard-working man, and he hadn't a lot of free time on his hands.

Doctor Joshua Davidson.

Josh was standing right next to, speaking in hushed tones into his phone. He had to perform two surgeries later today, having just enough time to come with her and get their marriage license. They still had two weeks until their wedding, but he had a tight schedule ‘til then, and she too didn't know when she had time between cases. So they planned their lunch break to cross their last item on their list.

They had everything covered. The invitations went out, the location was already rented, the menu put together and she had her dress. They only needed the marriage license.

After another ten agonizing minutes, it was finally their time. Kate elbowed Josh to make him end his phone call. She knew that he was on the phone with one of his colleagues, but it wasn't something important, otherwise he'd have left her here a long time ago. She just wanted to get this over with so she can go back to the precinct and he could go back to the hospital, continuing his conversation.

"Hello." Kate greeted the woman friendly, handing her their papers.

"Alright." The woman said, looking through their papers before she glanced back at them, as if she waited for something else.

"Is there a problem?" Josh asked. Like her, he just wanted to get back to work.

"I need the divorce papers."

Josh chuckled while looking confused at the woman in front of them. "We've never been married before, Ma'am."

"Oh, my computer says something else."

"What?!" Kate exclaimed, a strange feeling spread out in her stomach. So much for returning quickly to the precinct.

"It's stating that you got married fifteen years ago, Ms. Beckett." The woman replied, pointing at her computer screen. "In fact you still are married?"

Josh stared shocked at Kate, not believing what he just heard. "You're married?!"

"No!" Kate shot back, shaking her head vehemently. Turning back to the woman, Kate just couldn't grasp what was going on. She had never married before! "I'm sorry, there has to be a mistake."

"Lady, my data states that you're married."

"But to whom?" To whom could she possibly be married to?

The woman looked back at her screen, scrolling further down her document on her screen. "The name of the man is Alexander Rodgers. You and Mr. Rodgers married fifteen years ago."

Fifteen years ago? Kate narrowed her eyes while trying to think back to that time of her life. It was the year her mother had died. But it too, was the year she went to Las Vegas, trying to forget everything. Her pain, her sorrows, and everything else that had been going on.

Kate didn't remember a lot of that night. Just that lots of alcohol had been involved. That was all she could remember. But there was something else, something she had never been able to put together. There were bits and pieces of her dancing with a stranger, a stranger with blue eyes. But that was all.

Had that been Alexander Rodgers? Did they marry that night? Well obviously they had.

Great. That was just her luck. She had just wanted a day without her worries, one day she could put aside her darkened past and be herself again. Now this single act came back biting her in the ass years later.

"Who's this Alexander guy?"

"No one." Kate sighed. She couldn't believe her dilemma. "Can we go, please? I'll explain everything."

Josh stared stone-faced at her before he turned back to the woman. "We'll sort this out and come back another time."

Kate and Josh left the city hall, their trip here a complete waste of time.

"So, who is this Alexander Rodgers and why did you never tell me anything about him?"

"Because there is nothing to be said about him!" Kate exploded. Her mood was on its lowest level. "It was one night in Las Vegas. I remember almost nothing of this night. Especially not marrying him!"

Josh rubbed annoyed the bridge of his nose. "Let's talk to Michael. Maybe he knows what to do. I'll call him and we meet up later, that okay?"

"Fine." Kate replied, stepping up to give him a quick kiss on the lips before they split their ways, making their way back to work.

* * *

They boys immediately looked up as the elevator binged, signaling the arrival of people coming to their level. Their boss, Detective Beckett, should've been back some time ago now, the chance that she'd waltz back into the bullpen any minute was rather high.

Not a second later Kate Beckett entered the room, her heels clicking with every step.

"Hey Beckett, we thought you wanted to be back an hour ago. If you want to play hooky, you can just say so."

Kate rolled her eyes, absolutely not in the mood for their teasing. "Tell me everything you can about an Alexander Rodgers."

The boys stared confused at her, not knowing what this Rodgers' guy had to do with everything. "Is this case-related?"

"No, it's wedding-related."

"Come on, Beckett. We're not here to search for a stripper for you. That's Lanie's part." Espo smirked, bumping his fist with Ryan's.

She sighed. "He's not a stripper. He's my husband."

This made them sit up straighter. "What do you mean he's your husband?" Ryan asked.

"Just that. I'm married to him."

"How?"

“Richard Alexander Rodgers. Born April 1st 1969 in New York City. His mother is Martha Rodgers, an actress." Ryan read the information they had on him.

"Martha Rodgers." Kate mused the name. "I've been to a play she starred in with my parents once. She's good." She exclaimed.

Ryan continued, "He has a daughter, Alexis Rodgers. She's sixteen."

So he already was a father when they had met in Las Vegas, concluded Kate.

"He's living here in the city, Manhattan actually."

Manhattan. At least he wasn't living in another state, making it harder to contact him. She waited for Ryan to go on, but he never continued.

"And?" She asked.

Ryan looked up to her. "And nothing. That’s all I got. There's nothing else."

"So what? He dead?"

The blond man shook his head. "There's nothing that states that he's dead."

"Could you give me his last known address, please?" She’d have to wait for her conversation with Josh and Michael, but she might not be able to avoid a visit to Rodgers' home.

* * *

Kate took a deep breath before knocking on the door of the little Manhattan apartment, last known address of Alexander Rodgers. Her husband, Kate thought sourly.

It only took a few seconds until the door opened and revealed a red-haired woman. "How may I help you?"

"Detective Kate Beckett. Is Alexander Rodgers here?"

"My son? Yes, he lives here. Why? Did something happen?"

Kate smiled softly. "No. I'm sorry, I'm just used to introduce myself as a Detective by now. I need to speak with your son about something private."

"Oh." Martha exclaimed surprised. "I'm afraid he's not here, Detective."

"When can I reach him again?"

"He just flew out to Africa the other day. He works for a travel agency, you know."

Kate groaned, not fully believing her luck. This was just not her day. Africa? Couldn't he just be on a road trip through the state? No, that man had to be on a complete different continent! "When's he coming back?"

"Two weeks from now."

Two weeks? She wanted to marry in two weeks! She and Josh already had enough problems finding a time for the wedding. Post-boning it any further was out of question. Their honeymoon suit was already booked, their vacation days fully planned. The hospital in which Josh worked had all further surgeries planned for the days after their vacation!

Could this be a sign? Shouldn't they get married?

Nonsense, Kate thought. She didn't believe in such things. That was just her bad luck acting up, nothing more.

Gulping down her anger about her current situation, she looked directly into the eyes of Ms. Rodgers, sighing when she thought about how this woman was actually her mother-in-law. "Is there any way I can contact him? It's urgent."

"Of course. Why don't you step in while I search for his contact data."

* * *

Kate knocked back another shot. That was just what she needed.

"Wow! Didn't peg you as the marrying kind of type. Besides Josh of course." Lanie said. Kate had told her best friend the synopsis of her problem, needing someone that could help her venting out her frustration.

"I'm not." Kate scoffed. "It was a mistake." One of the worst kind.

Lanie took another sip of her drink before she replied. Her best friend being married to a stranger for the last ten years was just too good not to tease about. Sure, she understood Kate, after all she was happy that her friend wanted to get married. She just wished that it'd be a different man.

Josh was okay. He was kind, good-looking, and a successful doctor. But he just wasn't the right one for Kate in her mind. Kate had a demanding job, and he had a demanding job. The divorce would be just a matter of time. No, her friend needed someone else, but she'll be standing next to her at the altar smiling and keeping her mouth shut. She had already tried to reason with her friend. Everything else was not up to her.

"Well, there must have been something there for you to say _I do_." She smirked, teasing her friend a little.

"Yes! Dozens of drinks!"

That confused her. "What do you- Oh my god! It was a Vegas wedding?!" Lanie asked shocked. She had thought it was a mistake in the system. That somehow a person with the same name or at least almost the same name got married and some idiot put her friend on the certificate. What she wouldn’t have thought was that her friend actually had married.

Kate sunk her head in embarrassment, hiding her face behind her hands. She, Kate Beckett, got married in a drive-through chapel.

Lanie laughed unbelievably, because well, there wasn't really anything else she could do. She never would've guessed that! "Katherine Beckett, you're bad."

"I know." Kate sighed. "My mom would turn around in her grave if she knew this!"

Lanie sobered up a little. As funny as this was, her friend needed her help, and she was ready to do anything she could to provide it. "What are the plans? Are you delaying the wedding?"

"We can't. If we post-bone it now, it could take months to get a new date, probably even over a year! Josh is going to another Doctor's Border camp in two months."

"So what now?"

Kate shrugged dejectedly. "Josh and I talked to Michael, a friend of us who works as a lawyer. He said that since we were both over 18 at the time, our wedding is legal and binding. A mutual consent is the only way if Josh and I want to marry in two weeks."

"So you need that guy’s signature?"

"Yeah."

"Well then, everything's fine. If that's all you need. I don't think he needs two weeks to sign it."

"The next problem - the cherry on the top if you want to put it like that - is that he's out of country for the next two weeks."

"Oh God!" Lanie grimaced. This really was the worst-case scenario. "And now? Do you have a plan?"

Kate glanced into Lanie's eyes, looking determined at her. "I need this signature, Lanie. I just need it. There's nothing else that could help."

"Are you saying…?"

"I have his contact information and a flight ticket with my name on it. Tomorrow, I will fly out to Africa and I will not leave until I have my papers signed!"


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Caskett interaction :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoy the second chapter of this story.

**Chapter 2**

“That’s the last one.“ Rick exclaimed as he put down the last one of the beverage crates. “Is there anything else I can help you with?”

“No, no. You helped enough already. I don’t even know how to thank you properly for your help.” Taio said.

Taio was an old friend of Rick, and every time Rick was in Tanzania he tried to visit his friend. He and Taio had met years ago, back when he was in Tanzania for the first time. The Tanzanian had showed him some fascinating places, had explained a lot of things to Rick, and even had taught him a little of their language. Rick still might not understand every word, but he could go around the city without needing a translator by his side.

Taio owned a little bar, his whole family was helping him with the duties. Every time Rick was here he helped as much as he could, but after some time Taio’s children would surround him, giving him not the chance to continue helping but playing with these kids. They were great, and since he wasn’t often in Tanzania he was always surprised how much they had grown since his last visit.

“Please, Taio. You let me stay in your home, helping you is the least I can do to make it up.”

“You’re always welcome in my home, you know that. My family adores you.”

Rick smiled. “And I adore them.”

“Do you have everything you need? You’re bus must be here any minute now.”

“Yeah, everything’s packed up.” Rick said, glancing to his feet where a huge travel bag lay. He’d take the bus to a little village at the feet of the Mount Kilimanjaro. He had been there once, but only for a day. Now he wanted to explore the surroundings a little more. “I’m ready to get out there.”

The wooden door to the bar opened unexpectedly, resulting in them to glancing to the door. The first thing they saw was the brightness of the sun, blinding them a bit. Next thing they knew was a woman entering the bar. She wore brown khaki’s and a white shirt, her long brown hair cascaded down onto her shoulders. On her shoulder hung a little bag, just big enough to carry enough articles for a two day trip. Only when she was fully in the bar and the door was already shut she took off her sunglasses, revealing a pair of hazel eyes which looked directly at them.

Rick almost forgot to breathe. This woman sure knew how to make an entrance.

She walked up to them, letting her bag down beside her when she came to a stop at the bar. “Hi. I’m searching for Alexander Rodgers. I need to speak to him.”

“Sure. And who’d you be?”

“Detective Kate Beckett.” She introduced herself. Again, the _Detective_ slipped from her lips out of habit, yet even knowing that she was way out of her jurisdiction she wasn’t correcting herself. “I was told that I could find him here.”

Rick glanced slightly at Taio, a teasing glint in his eyes. His friend just shook his head before leaving the two alone, mending his own business. Rick turned back to the beauty, offering her his hand.

“I’m Rick Castle, my friend Taio owns this bar.” He said, pointing at his retreading friend. “What do you need to speak with Rodgers about?”

“That’s private. I’m kind of an old friend of him.” Kate replied. Well, she did kind of know him in a way. But she had to admit that she was stretching the word _friend_ here.

Her response made him smile. She was definitely lying to him. He was pretty sure that he’d never forget a woman like her. Still, there was something about her that screamed familiarity to him, but he couldn’t fully place her yet. Maybe she just reminded him of somebody else he met in the past.

“Really? You know, Rodgers tells me everything and I’m pretty sure he never mentioned a _Detective_ Kate Beckett before.”

Now Kate was the one smiling, and Rick guessed that a lot of men where goners after being smiled at with this smile. He had problems keeping his eyes from lowering to her lips. “Well, it seems then that he does _not_ tell you everything after all.”

He narrowed his eyes, the teasing glint still in them. “Oh, I’m sure he does.” Leaning back he grabbed a glass and filled it with water. “Something to drink? It’s pretty hot out there.”

Without waiting for a response he gently shoved the glass into her direction, and she murmured a quiet _thanks_ before emptying half of the glass in one sip. Rick lifted an eyebrow amused, before he decided to drop his charade. “I’m Alexander Rodgers. What can I do for you?”

Kate looked surprised up. “But you said your name was Rick Castle.”

“I changed my name from Richard Alexander Rodgers to Richard Edgar Castle some time ago.” He explained. “So what brings you out here, Kate?”

“It’s Detective Beckett or just Beckett, please.” Kate replied almost instantly and he rolled his eyes at her stubbornness and up-tight posture. “I need you to sign something for me.”

“You’re from the U.S., aren’t you?” he asked. He knew her accent, was almost sure he knew exactly where she was from.

“New York.” She confirmed.

Rick hummed, having guessed correctly. “New York. And you came all the way here just because you need a signature from me? That must be one hell of a document you have there.”

“Do you remember your trip to Vegas in 1999?”

He needed a moment to think back to that trip. In fact he didn’t remember much of it. The alcohol of that night had erased almost any memory of that night. “It’s a little blurred.”

Kate sighed. But what else should she have expected. If he’d remember their night in Vegas, he would have contacted her a long time ago and inform her of their mishap, wouldn’t he? “Well, we met that night.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. And we got married.”

“Wait, what?!” Rick exclaimed, shocked by this information. “We’re married? For real?”

“Yes, we’re married. By the state of Nevada, God and of course Elvis. But for some people are the last two things one and the same.“

“Wow, that’s quite the surprise there, Kate.”

“Detective Beckett.” She corrected him automatically.

He huffed. “Yeah well, we’ve been married for over ten years now, I think we’re way passed the formality. Don’t you think so, _Kate_?” This time he prolonged her name just to annoy her.

“Only on paper. Look, this marriage is a stupid mistake we made in the past.” She said while rummaging in her bag, revealing a handful of documents to him. “You have to just sign these and you’re off the hook.”

“That’s it? That’s all I have to do?”

“Yup.”

Rick searched for a pen. He couldn’t believe that he was married. All the time since his escapade in Vegas, he had been married without even knowing it. He’d never thought that something like this could ever happen to him. A Vegas wedding? This trip to Vegas had been meant to forget his problems, not to create new ones!

He found a pen and his eyes flew over the document. A document that would end his marriage to Detective Kate Beckett. Questions started to rise in his head. Typical _What If_ questions.

“Rick! You’re going to miss your transportation!” yelled Taio, and Rick looked surprised to the window. There stood the vehicle that would take him to his destination, people already entering it. It looked packed, but that was a normal state in Africa. There weren’t so many transportation possibilities like back in the states or other countries. If you miss it, you have to wait a long time to fetch another one.

Rick cursed himself for getting distracted and forgetting all about his departure out of the city. Quickly he signed the document, grabbed his travel bag and sprinted out of the bar while yelling his goodbyes to Taio and Detective Beckett –his now ex-wife.

“Hey!” Kate yelled after him. She needed another signature on the other side too! However her _still_ - _husband_ just kept running away from her. Cursing him and her bad luck again, she too grabbed for her bag and ran after him.

She saw him getting on a packed vehicle that reminded her of a huge truck, just without any tarps covering the cargo. Many people were squeezed on the cargo area. The truck started to move away, and she saw Rick throwing his bag onto it before jumping on the cargo area himself.

Kate ran next to the back part of the cargo area. Just like Rick she threw her bag onto the vehicle, picking up her speed to get her closer to the cargo area. People who sat there stretched their arms out to her to help her. Grabbing their hands, she jumped and got pulled onto the vehicle. She thanked the men that pulled her up and took her bag again.

Rick was at the front part of the area and there were too many people in her way to get to him. All she could do was wait until he got off or some of the people would leave.

She found a spot at the back where she sat down, not once taking off her eyes of Rick. She just hoped that it wouldn’t take long for her to be on her way back home. Her colleagues were waiting for her. Her fiancé was waiting for her. Her whole life was on hold because of this little trip.

One and a half hours later, she spotted Rick getting up to leave the transportation. Getting up herself, she casted a glance at her surroundings. There were a few little houses in sight, a small village she assumed, but nothing more. Rick walked towards them, as she hurried over to him to get his damn signature for her other document. She couldn’t believe that she was chasing after a man she mistakenly married fifteen years ago.

“Hey!”

He turned confused around at hearing someone yelling for his attention, opening his eyes wide-up in surprise as he recognized the person this voice belonged to. _What the hell did she do here?_

“Kate?”

“You forgot to sign the other document, but you just ran away.”

“I needed to get this lift, otherwise I’d have a huge delay in my plans.”

“Alright, alright. Just sign this other document and get this over with.” She breathed an annoyed sigh.

Rick clicked with his tongue. “Man, this must be a very special guy if you’re going through all this hassle just to get me to sign off some papers.”

“Signature. Now!” Kate stated, not being in the mood for games anymore.

“Why the hurry?” he suddenly grinned. “We have time.”

“No, we don’t. I want to get this over with and go back home.”

He stared at her flabbergasted. “You do know that we’re not anywhere near civilization, right? There’s no bigger city anywhere close to our location. That vehicle we were on is the only thing that could get us back, and it only drives this tour every ten days.”

“What?!”

Rick rose his hands to calm her down. “Hey, it’s not my fault you followed me blindly to a place you know nothing about.”

“Not your fault? _You’re_ the only reason I’m even on this continent!” she yelled at him.

“Okay, you know what? You can scream as much as you want, it doesn’t change anything. And you sure as hell won’t make me regret anything.” With that he turned around continuing towards the little village. But he stopped after taking three steps and turned to her for a short moment. “By the way, welcome to Africa, _honey_.” He said bending slightly, giving the word honey a sarcastic undertone, and with that he continued to walk to the village, distancing him from her.

Was this really happening to her? Stranded in the middle of nowhere with her _husband_ , she shouldn’t even have married in the beginning?

Cursing under her breath, she did the only thing she could do: follow Rick to the village, get his signature and find a way back home.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy the third chapter :)

**Chapter 3**

“Who even wants to spend their vacation here?”

“No one who’s looking for massages, free drinks and an all-in buffet.” Rick replied drily.

“Isn’t that the optimal vacation to relax? Lay back and forget about the daily life?”

Rick laughed at that. “Kate, there isn’t a norm for how to vacation. Everybody craves for something else. There are people who like all that I’ve just mentioned, and there are others ones. People who’d want see something of the world rather than hiding behind beautiful hotel walls. Those people get more and more nowadays.”

“But a little village in the middle of nowhere?”

He stopped and turned around to look directly at her. “I know it looks rather modest at first sight, but I can promise you that it’s worth it. You just have to look closer to see its magic.” Glancing down, a sad look crossed over his face before he started once again to walk towards the village, but not before murmur something. “God knows that people forgot about that.”

Kate opted to stay silent on their remaining walk to the village, taking in her surroundings. There was really nothing at all, nothing visible on the horizon. She was literally lost, and she walked unconsciously closer to Rick. She scoffed as she noticed her own behavior and distanced herself a bit again.

Why should she even listen to him? He was the reason why she was here in the first place!

The village consisted of about nine shacks, build of what she guessed clay and a thatch roof. But Kate couldn’t detect any doors. Anyone could walk freely into any of those shacks. It wasn’t like a lot of people came here, reminded Kate herself. In such a small village, everyone knew anyone here.

Rick walked further into the village, a tall bald man walked up to them. He wore a red garment, walked with a rod, and while Kate knew nothing about the local citizen of Tanzania, she’d guess that he was something like the tribe elder of this village.

Getting closer to the shacks, Kate noticed a nasty smell. With every step she took closer to the village, it reeked more and more of fertilizer. Looking around Kate found an area with cows and beefs near the village. So that was the reason for the smell, she thought.

By now Rick had reached the village and spoke to the man she had seen walking towards them. Was Rick speaking their language?

As she got closer she could hear what they said, noticing surprised that they talked in English. A creepy feeling crawled up in her, and she felt like she was being watched. Taking a look at her surroundings once more, Kate saw that all local people stood there watching her and Rick.

Feeling once more a little bit insecure, she stepped closer to Rick.

To hell with her pride. He knew at least something about their hosts.

“Thanks.” Rick smiled and shook the hand of the man before glancing back at her. “We’ll camp at the edge of the village. Follow me.”

Cursing her momentary situation she followed him. “Who was that you’ve just talked to?”

“That’s Kurary.”

“Is he the tribe elder of this village?” Kate asked curiously.

“No. He’s our guide. Normally he shows outsiders around, but we want to camp here and relish in the beautiful nature surrounding this village. He just merely helps me – us – communicating with the local people.”

Rick stopped at the edge of the village at a distance of probably ten steps to the last shack. He put down his big bag and started pull something out of it. As he worked, Kate realized that it was a tent he had pulled out of his bag and begun to build up.

“Besides, there are no tribe elder.” He exclaimed. “Well, they _are_ elder, but there isn’t one person who is in charge. As soon as they reached a certain age, they arise into the age band of senior citizen. Those are in charge of the tribe _together_.”

Kate put her own bag down, still not knowing what to do. She hated it to be out of her comfort zone. She could handle dangerous criminals easily, give her a homicide case and she’d solve it. Let her chase down criminals, she’d catch them. But throw her into a little village in Tanzania, without anything she knew and trusted – she felt lost. Completely out of her element.

“Do you smell that, Kate?”

“The fertilizer?” She asked drily.

Rick scoffed. “No. The fresh air. Freedom.” He said before smirking at her. “Besides, the smell isn’t just coming from the animals. The shacks – called Enkaji by the way – are made of cow dung.”

“What?”

“Oh, you heard me alright.” He grinned.

It took around five minutes until he had built up the tent. According to the size it was clearly meant for just one person. She’d obviously had to fend for herself. Maybe she should ask Kurary for help.

Rick seemed to notice her dilemma, because he stared softly at her looking like he wanted to say something but not knowing how to say it. Finally he cleared his throat. “I know it’s not much and we’d certainly have to cuddle up, but you can use my tent too – if you want to, of course. And we’ll organize you some more clothes first thing in the morning.”

Taken aback by his surprising offer, Kate glanced over his shoulder to the tent. They’d _really_ have to cuddle if they wanted to fit both in there. Once again she cursed her situation. “There’s no way we _both_ fit in there.”

“We _could_. Like I said, we’d have to cuddle up.” He took a deep breath while throwing his hands up into the air as if he had no idea what to do, reminding her that just like her, he was caught off guard by her presence. “Listen Kate, you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do, but I know the nights around here. They’re cold.”

“I shouldn’t even be here.” She murmured. She should be at home in her comfy apartment, _cuddling_ up to her _fiancé_. Brooding over her new found knowledge of her mother’s case! She had finally gotten new insights, merely pausing long enough to fetch the marriage license with Josh. But she got pulled into this chaotic drama, having thought that she’d fly out to Tanzania, get her divorce papers signed and fly back home so she could continue to work on her mother’s murder. Marry her fiancé and after relaxing five days in an exotic place, she’d be back working the most important case in her life.

Well, the exotic place could be crossed off now.

Rick, having heard her breathed exclamation, rolled his eyes. This woman – his _wife_ – was so frustrating! “Yeah well _honey_ , you are. So live with it.”

“I’m not your honey.” Kate scoffed.

Rick breathed in and out as deeply as he could, trying to channel his inner calmness. Somehow it had felt easier to raise his daughter all by his own than being with this woman in one place for more than a few minutes. She really got under his skin, and right now he wasn’t sure if it was good or not. “You’re angry, I get that. Believe me I do. But the only one you’re allowed to be angry with is yourself. _You_ followed _me_ – a stranger – out here. I didn’t _make_ you.”

“Yeah, because I needed you to sign those damn divorce papers!”

“And I did!” He argued, already all of his calmness lost again.

“But not all of them!”

“How should I have known that I have to sign off a dozen papers?”

“Not a dozen. Just two.”

“The real mistake I made was marrying you, and that’s on you just as it is on me. Even in Vegas you need _two_ people to marry, Lady.”

“Don’t _Lady_ me.”

Rick laughed out in frustration. He had enough of it – of her – right now. He needed time to calm down. He’d take care of her later. Lifting his hands in a surrendering gesture he gave her a resigning glance. “You know what? Do as you please. Freeze for all I care.”

Without any other word he marched over to the tent and disappeared inside of it.

With him gone, Kate was alone for the first time since walking into that bar merely hours ago. Her next move should be to find a phone or something. Her family and her friends will surely worry about her if she didn’t contact them. After all her plan was to be gone not more than two days at most.

Definitely not ten days!

Kate must have lost track of time while thinking over her current situation, because the next thing she noticed was the darkness of the night surrounding her. Having lived her whole life in a city like New York, she was taken by surprise off the nothingness of the night. At home there were at least some streetlights, neon sights, or the headlights of passing cars illuminating the night.

After all New York was the city that never slept.

Never had she been engulfed in complete darkness. Kate couldn’t even see the village anymore, and if she wouldn’t have memorized her surroundings earlier, she would be lost.

More lost than before.

Before, she only _felt_ lost. Now she was _literally_ lost.

This was her absolute rock bottom.

Standing up she walked towards the tent, knowing it hadn’t been more than three steps from her former position. Only now as she searched for the zipper of the tent, she noticed that she was shivering. Kate hadn’t believed his words earlier. She was in Africa for god’s sake, how cold could it get at night?

Boy, if she’d have known.

Crawling into the tent she closed it as quietly as she could, before lying down next to Rick. It was cramped, but it had to be enough. She pulled the end of his cover over herself and relished at the warmth of it.

There she laid, back to back with her husband.

There was movement behind her, informing her that Rick just turned over a little. She thought he’d be fast asleep, but somehow she felt his eyes on her.

“It’s cold.” She explained looking straight ahead and not daring to look into his direction.

Rick turned back into his initial position, for both to fall back asleep and to hide his smirk, though he had to bite back the words _I told you so_. For all he knew, those words would probably just drive her back out there into the cold night.

_Stubborn woman!_


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

The first thing Kate was aware of was the burning heat that seemed to have engulfed her. She felt like sitting in a sauna. The next thing she noticed was a reeky smell crawling its way up through her nose. Opening her eyes she was met instantly by the brightness of the hot sun, and shut them out of reflex. Choosing to open her eyes a little slower, so that she wouldn’t be caught off guard by the brightness this time. Kate saw that she was in a tent and after thinking back, she remembered where she was.

Tanzania. Right. How could she have forgotten her tour out here?

Why couldn’t this all have been just a bad dream?

Glancing to her left she realized that Rick wasn’t there anymore. Where was he? He sure as hell couldn’t be far since there was next to nothing close by. She opened up the tent and left it, stretching her sore limps Kate looked towards the village, and sure enough she had found him. He was talking to his – their? – guide, Kurary.

Kate sat down in front of the tent and kept her eyes on him, observing him. He must have changed his clothes this morning, because she couldn’t remember that his t-shirt had clung that tightly to his –admittedly – very well formed chest and strong arms. This shirt definitely showed off his assets the best way. Even his khaki pants did hug to his frame all the right ways.

Shaking her head, Kate tried to get rid of those thoughts – and maybe even those imagines of him. He _may_ be her husband, but only on paper. She was happily engaged to another man. She should think of him and not this stranger.

But as soon as her eyes landed back on him she couldn’t help but sigh, biting her lip as she adored this sight of him.

There was no way she’d ever, _ever_ tell him that!

Rick said something to Kurary and they both laughed before he turned and walked over to her, picking off a huge bowl and a pile of textiles. Blankets maybe?

He smiled wildly at her as he came to a stop in front of her, and put down the goods he had carried over to their tent. _Their_ tent? His tent, she corrected herself. “Good morning, Beautiful. How did you sleep?”

Letting his use of a pet name for her slip this time, she smiled. A real and honest smile for once. “Good, considering that I slept on the hard ground.”

“Yeah, that’s why I got these.” He replied, indicating to the pile of fabric he held in his left arm.

She smiled again. “Thank you.” Kate said, meaning every word with deep gratitude. They had a bumpy start yesterday, but still he was doing everything he could to make her situation as easy on her as he could.

Kate felt kind of like a bitch for her behavior. Thinking back she was rather embarrassed, not recognizing herself. She wasn’t like that, was always in control of everything, had encountered anyone she met with respect and friendliness – except for the criminals she had to arrest. Still with respect, but with a more direct approach.

Meanwhile Rick had put down the things he had brought over he sat next to her on the ground, staring to the horizon.

“I’m sorry.”

Rick gazed confused at her, no idea what she was talking about. “Come again?”

“Because of my behavior yesterday. I’m not really that petty. It’s just, I’m-” Kate stopped short while searching for the perfect word to describe it.

“Out of your element? Insecure?” Rick offered.

Kate sighed. “Yeah. I hate to be out of control, and I haven’t been in control of anything since walking into that bar yesterday. Or maybe I have lost control the moment I learnt that I was already married to someone I met years ago.”

Rick smiled teasingly. “You’re a control freak.”

“I’m not-“ Kate scoffed, but thinking about everything, she had to admit he was right. Declining it now wouldn’t get her anywhere. “Okay, maybe I am one. But just a little bit.”

Rick shrugged. “I’m sure you’re not that bad. I mean, I married you after all.”

“You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?”

“Immensely.” He admitted.

“At least one of us can laugh about it.”

Sobering up Rick turned his complete attention to her, and he was suddenly sitting directly in front of her. Curious, she waited for what he wanted to say. “Kate, it’s no use crying over spilled milk. There’s nothing we can change now. So why don’t we accept it and move on.” He stated earnestly, before his signature smirk was back on his lips and a teasing twinkle was visible in his blue eyes. “It is kinda funny.”

Kate’s corner of her mouth twitched. This annoying, unbelievable and kind man had a point.

Sitting next to each other in silence, she mused over what to do next. “And there’s really no chance of getting back to the city before those ten days are over? Or even finding a telephone I could use? My family will start to worry about me if they don’t hear from me.”

Rick sighed. “Not that I know of. But I’ll ask around, okay? If there’s a way, I’ll find it.”

Being grateful to know that he was going to help her, she smirked. Maybe it was time she should be doing some teasing of herself. “You mean you’ll let Kurary ask around.”

“Well, he sure as hell will be more successful to get to the point. I’d make a fool of myself trying to communicate with the local citizen. They’d start to think I’m insane.”

Kate laughed out loud, imaging him trying to speak to one of the citizen.

“Ah, there it is. The first real laugh I got from you.”

Catching her lower lip between her teeth Kate flickered her eyes to the ground, feeling her cheeks flushing. “So what are your plans for today?” she asked, trying to change their conversation back on safe ground again. He managed to get under her skin way too soon after having just met her yesterday.

“Kurary told me that there’s the Maswa Game Reserve close by. I thought about going there.”

“I’ll join you.”

“Really?” he asked surprised.

“Yeah, there’s nothing else I could do anyway. Besides, you’re one of the only two people here that can understand me.”

“Point taken.”

Just now she remembered the huge bowl he had carried in the other hand. “What’s in there?”

“Oh, that’s water. You know, the daily routine has to be maintained somehow. So as soon as you’re ready, we’ll head out.” Rick pointed out standing up, and left her on her own.

* * *

“Are you doing this often?”

They were now on the move for at least two hours. The sun made this walk a living hell. There was no way of getting any refreshment. All she saw was the dry ground, a few trees once and again, and her own water she was carrying with her was too warm. Maybe she should have stayed at the village.

Rick eyed her confused, trying to detect what she could mean. They have walked the last half an hour in silence, both minding their own thoughts, while trying to ignore the burning heat. Thus he missed the context of her question, not knowing what possibly went through her mind.

Enjoying life as it was? Yes, definitely.

Spending some quality time with his wife? Not so much.

Especially considering that he hadn’t even known that he was married until yesterday. Resigned that he wouldn’t find out what she was talking about on his own, he opted to just ask her. “What do you mean?”

“Travelling to places like this one.”

“Why? Don’t you like it here?” He smirked knowing full well that he was teasing her again.

But she didn’t take the bait, staying serious while taking a moment before answering, maybe weighing up the pros and cons she had encountered ‘til now. “It’s different. A _good_ different.” She added before he could ask her to explain her answer. “But wouldn’t you like to go to some classy hotel, enjoying some time at the beach or pool?”

This time it was his turn to think about his answer. Sure, he would enjoy it to just lay back and have a good time at a hotel. He actually stayed at some now and then, but at the same time he needed something else. He was a curious man, and he liked to get to know things, new things. Absorb as much information as he could. He’d become quickly bored going from hotel to hotel.

“I was at plenty of those hotels.” He finally stated, while continuing to walk next to her. “But after a while you quickly realize that they’re all the same. You know one you know all. I think I just wanted a change in scenery. See places normal tourist won’t see when they’re lying on their deck chair taking a sun bath. Maybe they don’t even want to see those places. But people actually start to seek more and more new places, places which are still untouched.” He told her, taking a sip of his water before he continued.

“Of course, attractions like the Eifel Tower, the Niagara Falls, or the Pyramids will always be popular, but places like the one we’re at now are special. They’re not overrun. You get the chance to see the world. The _real_ world. With all its magic and flaws.”

Kate glanced irritated over to him. “Who wants to see the flaws of the world?”

“Ah, but flaws are important, Kate.” He chided her. “They make us who we are. Everybody and everything has flaws. It creates our individuality. Perfection is surreal, you can’t measure it. You have to define perfection for _yourself_. Sure, there are ideals out there everyone things of them as perfection, but they’re not. People have flaws. People without flaws are…they are clones.” He finished frowning at the word _clones_.

He was right, she thought. It would be horrifying if everyone would be the same. The image made her shudder.

“For example when you love someone.” He continued. “You love everything about that person, even the flaws. You may not know it and maybe even hate them at times, but if the person wouldn’t be with you anymore all of the sudden, you start missing the flaws, even longing for them. Flaws make us unique.”

Kate immediately thought about his words. It was no secret that anybody had flaws. Even she did. Thinking of Josh and her relationship with him, she asked herself whether she hated his flaws or not.

Did she? Absolutely.

Could she imagine missing them when he was not around? Not really.

But what did that say about them? About her? Did she even love him? She thought she did, had been sure of it before Rick played couple therapist. But it was like he showed her the world, let her see it for the first time. She had seen a lot of things due her job as a homicide detective. Had even seen things a normal detective wouldn’t see, making her think that she was attracting the unusual cases. She certainly was no one who was seeing the world through rose tinted spectacles.

Still she had to love Josh, right? After all she wouldn’t have agreed to marry him if she wouldn’t. Just because she surprisingly began to enjoy this little unplanned adventure with Rick and wasn’t just sitting around moping while counting down the days until she could get back to her soon-to-be husband, didn’t mean she didn’t love him. Josh was kind, good-looking, a real gentleman, and saved lives on a daily basis. She practically hit the jackpot.

She loved him, end of discussion.

Kate got the feeling she had to steer the conversation back to safer topics. “But have you never wished to do something else? Something you could do back in the U.S., being with your family?”

“I did. Numerous times, actually. I miss my daughter when I’m gone. When she was little, I took her with me sometimes. We went to hotels, had fun and enjoyed our time together.” Rick smiled, thinking back to the good old times.

Images of him spending time with his daughter flashed over her eyes, and she had to smile too, thinking that this little girl was certainly a lucky one. He must be a good father.

“Then she started to go to school and her free time got less and less over the years. My mother takes care of her while I’m not home, but there are times she’s still accompanying me. And I’m very proud to be the one who shows her the world. Yeah, I may not be home at times, but my boss is very generous with my decompress time. For every time I’m somewhere out in the world, I’m double the time at home again.”

“That’s really nice of him.”

“Yeah.” He agreed. “He has a daughter of himself. I think he understands my predicament.”

“Are we there yet? I feel like we’re walking for an eternity!”

“In fact we are, Detective. We entered the Maswa Game Reserve a few minutes ago. Enjoy your time.” He smiled and walked further into the direction they had walked for the last three hours.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

“Hey, look.” Rick said stopping her and pointing at something in the distance.

Kate glared at him for startling her, before she turned her attention to where he was pointing to. If he hadn’t pointed it out, she’d have missed it completely. But there was something. Something big moved around, but they were too far away to determine what it could be.

“What could it be?”

“I have a theory, but why don’t we get closer to see for sure?”

“What if we don’t like what it is?”

“Is the big bad NYPD detective frightened?” He mocked her.

Kate huffed. “I’m not. It’s just that I’ve normally got a gun and back-up should an _already_ questionably situation turn bad. I want to marry soon, not go to my funeral.”

“I’m your back-up.”

Kate rolled her eyes. “Yeah, that makes it all better.” She murmured, but too quietly for him to have heard it. Nevertheless she followed him as he moved towards the moving figures in the distance.

Was it normal to have the urge to shoot someone and worry about him at the same time?

She had met no one like him before. He brought out mixed feelings in her, and if she’d have to describe him to anyone, she feared there weren’t enough words in the world. Depending on how much he had gotten on her nerves, she’d have good or bad words to say about him. He’d really be the first person she’d call an arrogant jackass, yet caring man.

How could any woman be with such a man without having the urge to strangle him at times? Admittedly, it had gotten better since yesterday, but still he was keeping her on her toes. That brought her to the questions she hadn’t asked yet, didn’t even think about it.

Did he have someone waiting for him at home? Someone other than his daughter and mother?

He had never indicated that there was someone. He had always talked about _his two_ _red-heads_ , but no one else. But surely, as annoying as he could be, there had to be a woman in his life. He was after all a handsome man; kind, smart, funny and caring – among other adjectives.

Just like Josh he was a jackpot, wasn’t he?

What about the mother of his daughter? Did something happen? Something tragic? Should she ask him about it? They are still strangers and he, just like her, should probably mind their own business. On the other hand they were stuck together out here, so what could it hurt to talk about a few things?

“Can I ask you something?”

“Sure.”

“How come you’re not married? I mean I can imagine you to be quite the catch.”

“Why aren’t _you_ married yet?”

“I wanted to be sure that it was the right one. I’m the one-and-done-kind of girl.”

“You waited to find the one you can imagine spending the rest with your life with. I’m doing the same.”

Kate frowned. “But what about the mother of your daughter?”

“Kate.” Rick spoke her name in a caring, yet firm tone, and she immediately thought she crossed a line with her question. His blue eyes stared deeply into her brown ones, his expression made her heart beat faster into her ribs. Had he been standing this close to her the whole time?

Time seemed to slow down.

A moment later his expression softened, a little smile danced onto his lips before his eyes flickered over her shoulder. “Look.”

Turning around to see what he could mean she held her breath, eyes widening in amazement of what she was seeing.

There, just a little distance between them, were elephants.

“How…?”

Rick laughed at her current state, loving the picture of seeing her at a loss of words. There was a special spark in her eyes, and a smile tucked at the corners of her mouth. As he had seen the movement first, he hadn’t been sure if he had been correct. It could’ve been anything, especially knowing that elephant were rather rare in this area.

But he’d taken the far chance and made them walk over to them, hoping that she’ll love whatever they were going to see. And if her expression was any indication, she was really loving this view. She looked just like his daughter did, as she had seen elephants for the first time. Those were her favorite animals since then, and if he had to take a wild guess, it seemed to be something she and Kate had in common.

In front of them were five elephants, adding a little baby elephant that seemed to be out for trouble. Rick had to smile himself as he watched the little one goofing around, probably annoying the grown ones.

Looking back to Kate she had yet to say something, but she was still staring at the wandering elephants with wide eyes. Just seeing her like that made the long walk out here worth it. Seeing her happy – _truly_ happy, was the best thing that he had seen on this trip until yet.

“We’re lucky.” He breathed, daring to break the silence but not loud enough to break the spell of the moment. “It’s very rare to see one of those in this area.”

“There my favorites.” Kate replied softly, smile widening as she continued to watch them.

They watched the elephants until they were out of sight. Rick kept silent the whole time, alternating between observing the elephants and Kate. Both sights were equally beautiful and breath-taking. He walked a little backwards, and put down the little bag he had carried out here.

“What are you doing?” Kate asked having noticed his movement. Rick got a blanket out of the bag, followed by something that looked like bread. She had seen him carrying the bag but had opted not to question him, being sure he’d tell her when it was time.

“I thought we’d get hungry on our way, so I took something with us. Kurary said that’s like bread, so why don’t we give it a chance and try it.” Rick stated matter-of-factly while looking at the food in his hands.

Was he seriously considering a picnic out here?

It seemed like it because he sat down onto the blanket, taking a piece of the food and glanced relaxed at the surrounding area. Following his example she too, sat down and took a piece of pastry-like food.

“We should head back when we’re finished. We have quite the walk back.”

“I know. I’ve been on the walk out here too. That the distance wouldn’t be getting shorter is quite obvious.”

“Just saying.”

After they finished their meal they packed everything up and made their walk back towards the village. After they had walked for an hour Kate suddenly stopped short, tensing up while looking horrified in front of her.

Confused at her sudden change of behavior Rick wanted to ask if she was okay, but she already pointed at something in front of them. His eyes followed her finger and he suddenly tensed to as he saw what she had discovered just a few seconds ago.

A lion laid directly in the direction they had been walking in, his big eyes on them.

“Okay.” Rick said, more to himself than to Kate, trying to muster up enough strength to lead them through these next moments before addressing his female companion. “Be still, and don’t move.”

“Have you ever encountered a wild lion before?”

“No.”

Kate shot him a glare. “And how do you know what to do?!”

“Well, I just think that if we’d run now, he’ll see us as bait. And I _refuse_ to be bait!”

Suddenly the lion got up, and Rick and Kate immediately stepped back. It wasn’t that the lion seemed aggressive at the moment, or that he’d even was interested in them, but the horror still sat deep in their bones. Kate prayed that the animal would make its way away from them, yet her prayers seemed to fall on deaf ears as he stepped closer to them.

“So what now, lion whisperer? Some more wise advices?”

“Lay down.” Rick shot back while getting down and lying flat on his stomach.

Following his instructions Kate hoped to god that everything will be fine. She kept her head down the whole time, only barely aware that the lions stopped in front of Rick. The next thing Kate saw however, where gigantic paws directly before her eyes. She heard the panting of the huge animal, and she didn’t know why she did it, but she slowly raised her head, her heart ponding wildly in her chest.

Her brown eyes stared directly in those huge golden-brown ones.

The lion grumbled loudly, however he stepped back. Ignoring those two lying humans, the stunning animal paced away. Waiting for another five minutes – just to be sure – the two stood up, immediately seeking out the lion. But it was far away now, distancing itself more and more.

Rick turned relieved to Kate, laughing as he saw the exact same expression on her face as he wore and she quickly joined into his laughter. Forgetting about anything else, Rick pulled her into a hug which she – much to his surprise – returned, keeping him as close as she could.

However this moment was cut short when reality caught up to them again, remembering their situation ant that they shouldn’t get so close to each other, regaining the rightful distance between strangers.

Still, this moment would forever be just for them, and nobody would probably ever believe them.

“Can we go back now before it decides that we might taste good after all?” Kate asked.

Rick leant his head back and looked at the sky, seemingly deep in thoughts. “I’m not sure we’ll be back before the night.”

“So?”

“ _So?_ So we might want to search for a protective shelter for the night on our way back.”

“You’re kidding, right?”

“Do I look like it?” He asked, staying serious the whole time.

“Right now I’m really regretting ever coming with you in the first place.” Kate muttered. Not waiting for him, Kate moved to continue their walk back, noticing him following her but keeping a slower pace to stay behind her and out of sight.

“Stop.” Rick yelled to her. It had been half an hour since their encounter with the lion, Kate had been walking a good few steps in front of him the whole time.

Sighing, Kate drew her hands in the air. “What now?”

Rick pointed towards the massive stone construction to their left, walking towards it without any explanation. Rolling her eyes at his behavior, again fighting the urge to strangle him, she followed him.

He was driving her crazy!

This had to be it. All of this was just a huge punishment. Whatever she might have done in the past, this man was her punishment for it, and whoever had sent Rick must have a good laugh at the moment.

And all that would be logical if she’d believe in such things.

“We’re staying the night here.” Rick stated, finally letting her know about his plans.

“Oh, come on! It can’t be more than an hour to the village.”

“Kate, the sun is almost gone. We won’t be able to see anything. Let’s stay here and walk the remaining distance in the morning.”

“We could make it if we hurry.” Kate argued, but her fierce had died down a little. It had been a long and exciting day, and all she longed for was to lay down and rest, not caring where she was doing this. Though she doubt it she could rest peacefully out here, not knowing which animal was out hunting at night.

“Look Kate, there’s a secured place at the left side of the stone. It’s good enough for the night.”

Kate glared at him, just to show him that she wasn’t amused by their situation, before caving in. “Fine. But you owe me for all the trouble you got me into today.”

Sitting down, leaning back at the cold stone Rick smirked. “We both know you enjoyed watching the elephants today.”

Pursing her lips, she bite back a smile as she thought back at that amazing moment. Just unbelievable, a moment ago she had been ready to kill him, and now she had a hard time not to smile at him.

“Shut up.” She said and sat down beside him, enjoying the feeling to be off of her feet for once.

Sitting there against the stone wall, she had a feeling that it will be a long night.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

“They were my mom’s favorites.”

Rick moved his head slowly to Kate, waiting for her to continue. Kate noticed his confused expression and decided to explain further. “The elephants, I mean.”

“Were?”

Kate’s eyes flickered to the ground and he almost wished he hadn’t asked, but after she cleared her throat she glanced back up looking directly into his eyes. He could see a lot of different emotions flashing through her hazel orbs, couldn’t fathom the thoughts that must be running through her mind.

Somehow he felt like she was about to show him a side of her not everybody got to see, making this moment very precious.

“She died. When I was nineteen.”

“I’m sorry.” He meant it, he really did. No one should experience such a loss at this age. In his mind, parents were meant to die before their children did, but not that soon. Children needed the guidance of their parents, even at an older age. They will always look up to the two people who raised them, protected them and cared for them. And the best reward for a parent was to see their child blossom out in life.

Kate’s mother never got to see her daughter find happiness.

Silence took over, Kate thought about the past and the loss that she had to live through, and Rick thought about things he could say to distract her from her tragic past. He was sure she was thinking of it more than enough already. “Meredith. That’s the name of Alexis’ mother.”

His sudden change of topic seemed to work, because she was looking at him rather curious now. “Alexis? That’s the name of your daughter?” She asked him softly and he nodded. “It’s a beautiful name.“

He smiled thinking of his angle waiting for him at home. “Anyway, we were engaged fifteen years ago. I proposed after she gave birth to Alexis.”

“What happened?”

“We lived in Los Angeles at the time, and I just visited my mother in New York. She’s an actress and had a new play, and since I can remember I always have been there at her first performance of a new play. It’s a little tradition of ours, I think. It was planned for me to stay the whole weekend in New York, but I longed to see my family. I took the first fly out to L.A. the day after the play. I wanted to surprise them, but in the end it had been me who got quite the surprise.” He said bitterly.

Kate waited patiently for him to continue, just like he did a few moments ago. However she could already guess what happened, being a detective she had witnessed a lot of those situations. Wasn’t it always the same?

“When I got home the first thing I had noticed was Alexis crying in her room. I thought that Meredith was still sleeping since it was really early, and that Alexis might have just started to cry. I went to her room to look after her and calm her down before I went to look for Meredith in our bedroom. But she wasn’t _sleeping_. And she wasn’t alone either.”

“I’m sorry.” Kate murmured, putting her hand on his bigger one which lay still on his thigh, squeezing it tenderly.

“Don’t be. It was just not meant to be.”

“And there was no one else after her? It’s a long time since then.”

“Well, there were others. But nothing serious. I solely focused on raising my daughter, and that had been enough, you know?” Smirking, he draw the conversation towards a lighter tone again. “Besides you would have known if there’d have been someone serious, because it would’ve been _me_ coming to _you_ to sign those divorce papers.”

“It would have been so much easier if it would have been you.”

“Please, I’m a gentleman. Always ladies first.”

“Aren’t you funny.” She replied deadpanned.

“Also you’re a cop. You had it probably way easier finding me, than I would have.”

“True. But you hiding out in Africa wasn’t really helping.”

Turning, their faces were very close to each other. “Still, you came.”

Eyes flickering to his lips for a second. “I put a lot of time into this wedding. I wasn’t just to sit back and watch how it was all for nothing.”

Rick broke their gaze, having been remembered that she was promised to another man. That she would say _I do_ and promise _forever_ to somebody else. He was walking on thin ice there, already sensing that he was falling.

Falling hard.

And there was nothing that could catch him at the bottom of this fall. He’d hit the ground hard, maybe so hard that it would be impossible to hope for complete recovery.

“I write.”

“What?” Kate asked puzzled. The sudden change of topic caught her off-guard.

“You asked me this morning if I ever wanted to do something that would allow me to stay home. The only thing I could imagine doing is writing books.”

“Anything I should know?”

“No. I’ve never published any of the stories I wrote.”

Kate frowned. “Why not?”

“I love my life.” Rick shrugged. “I don’t want to sound arrogant or something, but if my book were to be published and they’d be a success, I wouldn’t be able to live the life I do now.”

“And what are you writing about?”

“Oh, I don’t want to bore you.”

“Okay.” Kate stated confused, but didn’t comment further on it. If he didn’t want to talk about it, she’d accept it. Leaning back she closed her eyes, ready to invite sleep with open arms.

“Okay, the first book is about…” Rick started excitedly, and Kate could bite back the smile that was slowly forming on her lips, keeping her eyes still closed while listening to his tales and letting them lull her into sleep.

* * *

As Kate woke up the next day she found herself leaning on Rick, her head safely tucked away on his neck. Kate couldn’t help but breathe him in, noticing for the first time that he surprisingly smelled good, despite the sweat of yesterday’s walking marathon.

Something was covering her lower body, touching the strange but welcome warm blanket she drew it a little higher. The day hadn’t started like yesterday with the sun shining brightly, but rather with clouds and rainy weather. However Kate couldn’t remember covering herself – them – with the blanket. Rick must have covered them up, and the thought of him made her eyes flicker to the side on which his body touched hers, giving her some of his warmth.

Rick was still sleeping, giving her the first real chance to study him without him noticing. He looked peaceful, as if he had no worries at all in this world, just enjoying his life with all its ups and downs. His hair was a slight mess, indicating that he had run his hand through it quite often over the night, guessing that he had stayed up way longer than she did. His shirt was a little askew, showing more of the skin at his shoulder area and the muscles that have been more visible through his thin shirt were now in view.

Was he working out?

He had to be, she mused as she took a closer look at his physique. Lots and lots of images popped up in her mind while gliding her eyes from his strong abs over his shoulder and neck – and a quick detour to his chest – until her eyes landed back on his face.

He really was handsome.

Of course she’d never tell _him_ that. She’d never live down his teasing, would hear it forever if not for years to come.

Her breath caught with that thought. Did she intend to keep in touch with him after returning to New York? She had never planned it, the idea of keeping in touch with her ex-husband-by-accident sounded somewhat crazy. Thinking of uncomfortable dinner invitations, the image of sitting at the table with her ex-husband and current husband gave her already a headache. Especially since she knew that Josh wouldn’t be at all supportive of any action that would result in such a scenario.

However there were imagines running through her head that made her smile. Listening to his wide arsenal of tales of all the places he had been to while enjoying a cup of coffee together, telling him a few of her most bizarre cases and waiting for his comments she was sure she’d get. All the while teasing each other.

He sure as hell would make her life a lot more interesting.

“Staring’s creepy.”

Quickly averting her eyes and fixate her gaze to a point on the ground Kate scolded herself for getting caught staring at him, biting shyly onto her lip.

“Don’t be embarrassed. It’s definitely a good creepy.” He smiled, proud of having caught her eying him. Being eyed up by a woman like Kate was really a compliment.

“Don’t let it get to your head. I was merely relishing in the peaceful silence I haven’t gotten since meeting you.” Kate shot back.

Rick grinned, knowing better but letting it slide. “Sure you were.”

Kate gazed up at the sky. The sun seemed to play hooky today, much to her dismay. “I suppose you don’t have an umbrella somewhere in your back, do you?”

“Afraid not.” He said getting up, offering her his hand to help her get off the ground. Slightly surprised that she actually accepted it Rick pulled her onto her feet, but he estimated her weigh wrong and pulled too strong, resulting in her crashing against his chest stumbling a little backwards.

His back was now exposed to the rain, his shirt getting slowly soaked by the cool water, but he forgot all about it as her hazel eyes lifted and she stared directly into his eyes. For a moment he forgot to breath, feeling like time stood still.

Knowing that it was a bad idea, he couldn’t help but move his head a little closer to hers, trying to gauge her reaction. She didn’t move. Not closer, but not away either, waiting how things would turn out. Her eyes fluttered, their lips almost brushing, yet he didn’t dare to take the last step, letting her decide how this moment should end.

Kate leant into him, not enough for a kiss but their noses were touching. His hands wandered to her hip, while hers glided over his arms up to his neck.

Still neither of them dared to make the final move.

“We shouldn’t.” Kate breathed, however made no movement that signaled that she herself wasn’t really interested in what they should and shouldn’t do. Just like him, her heart fought with her head. The one telling her what to do, and the other trying to find ways to do it anyway.

But the hardest part was that he knew that they shouldn’t do it. She was in a relationship for god’s sake, on her way to marry someone else. But he just couldn’t label her as off-market. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that they were still married, that maybe – just _maybe_ – he had a chance. That _they_ had a chance.

This beautiful, amazing and sometimes frustrating woman triggered off feelings he hadn’t felt in a long time.

Though he just knew her for a short time he knew that she was an honest woman, that she’d never betray anyone’s trust. And if something should result in breaking one of the rules she was living by, she’d regret it. And frankly Rick didn’t want to be something she would ever regret.

So he was the one making the decision of their next move, and he chose _her_.

“We can use the blanket as a cover. It’s not much, but it will delay getting soaked.”

Something that looked like disappointment flashed over her eyes before her no-nonsense expression was back on her face, and she entangled herself from him. Ignoring him she picked up the discarded blanket and pulled the bag over her shoulder, moving out from under their stony protection.

He watched her for a moment, feeling his own disappointment rushing through him. If things wouldn’t be so messy, he’d have chosen different. He would have swept Kate Beckett off her feet. But he was only a stranger that fate had thrown into her way to happiness.

Cursing under his breath, feeling like an idiot for even entertaining the idea of him and her together.

Of _them_.

He was just some random guy she had met fifteen years ago, and had mistakenly married due her drunken state.

But how could it be so wrong to fall in love with his wife, yet feel so right?


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy!

**Chapter 7**

Almost ten minutes into their walk they had seen figures on the horizon, closing the distance to them they soon had noticed that it was Kurary with three men of the villages. Kurary had worried about them when he had realized that Kate and Rick hadn’t been back well into the night, and had organized a search party for the next day.

The lost pair – as soaked as they were from the rain – had been touched by Kurary’s concern for them, and a bit guilty for causing such a trouble for the men. But he had quickly reassured them that it was alright, that they shouldn’t brood over it.

As they had reached the village the rain had – thankfully – stopped, giving them the chance to dry themselves with a towel and the help of the now-again burning sun. Quickly changed into fresh clothes, they had spread their clothes to dry them in the sun.

They didn’t do much during the day, lunging and relaxing was on their agenda. Rick had finally caved in and let Kate read his manuscript of his latest mystery story, while he spoke to Kurary about getting them back to the city, and record his experience on a Dictaphone. Rick was rather the pen-and-paper-kind of guy, but the rain had ruined his note book he had bought extra for this trip.

Currently the day was nearing to its end, the village people were singing and dancing as Rick made his way back to their little camp, finding Kate sitting in front of the tent smiling at him as she noticed his presence.

“It’s good. Very good.” Kate said, pointing to the manuscript in her lap.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. You should really reconsider it to publish your stories. Let the world be a part of the stories you spin.” Kate replied.

“Do you really think that?”

“I do.”

Rick took the manuscript she gave him back and put it back into its sacred place in his bag. “I don’t know.”

“Do you think that no one would publish it?” Kate asked.

“No, that’s not it. I’ve almost published one a few months ago. I have a publisher, even changed my name for this chance. We talked about tours and promotion, they gave me the contract to sign, yet there was something holding me back.”

“What did they say when you told them you wouldn’t sign?”

Rick shrugged. “That if I should ever change my mind, the contract will be there waiting for me.”

“So they’re pretty eager to publish your work.”

“Seems like it.” Rick murmured, looking back to the celebrating people.

“Just think about it, ‘kay?” Kate spoke softly, sensing his reluctance of talking about this topic. She now glance to the party too, searching for a better topic. “What are they celebrating?”

“A birthday. One of the men turned thirty-five today, and is officially one of the elder now.”

Kate hummed and kept watching the happy men and women, celebrating with no worries in the world. She smiled when she discovered the youngest of the village midst the grown-ups, jumping and dancing wildly.

Suddenly there was a hand in front of her eyes, drawing her out of her thoughts. Glancing up she saw Rick holding his hand out to her, a little smile on his lips. “Come on. Let’s join them.”

Kate hesitated. “I don’t know. Maybe they want to be on their own.”

“Kurary told me that we’re welcome to join in the celebration.”

Thinking about it for a moment she came to a decision, and took his hand holding it tightly as he pulled her to her feet. But instead of letting go of his hand she moved towards the party, pulling him with her.

To say that he was surprised about her bold move and the very visible physical contact was an understatement, yet he couldn’t care less. Enjoying the feeling of her hand in his, Rick followed her readily.

The villagers welcomed them openly, pulling them into their dancing and they laughed quite often when they observed each other trying to mimic the dance moves of the local citizen.

They spent the rest of the evening dancing with the others, celebrating with them the birthday of one of their own. At some time they migrated apart from the bunch of people, dancing with each other. The distance between them got less and less by the time without them noticing, until they were close enough to feel the breath of the other on their faces.

There it was again. The closeness. The speeding heart, beating wildly against rips. The indecision of making the final move towards the other. Or maybe it was the indecision of moving away from each other?

Unconsciously she moistened her lips, searching his eyes for an answer for a question she knew he couldn’t give. The desire flashing through his eyes didn’t really help either, instead it sparked her own desire. Her want for him almost impossible to bear.

This man – this stranger – made her feel something she hadn’t felt in a long time.

A feeling she lost quickly after her mother’s death, and had just realized that she never really found it again in the years following. Until now.

Kate Beckett felt truly alive.

Her body buzzed every time he touched her, or rested his blue eyes on her. Her skin felt on fire where he had touched her.

She craved for this kind of feeling, made her feel like she was addicted to it.

And he felt like that too. She was sure of it, because his eyes told her everything she needed to know. They were like an open book to her, especially in moments like right now. This moment in which they were walking on thin ice, running to risk the platonic and secure state of their raising friendship all the while setting their world on fire.

Kate knew that if she was to defuse the situation, distance herself from him and behave like nothing happened, he’d be fine with it. He would put on a smile, accept her decision and forget about it for her sake and probably for his too.

But did she want that?

The answer to that question came much more quickly than to any other of the thousands that run through her head.

No.

She wasn’t perfect, was far from it.

But Kate had thought she knew all of her flaws, yet she discovered a new one right at this moment.

She had always been proud to say that she wasn’t one of them. That she would always be truthful and wouldn’t betray anyone’s trust.

Yet she seemed to be unresisting to this man.

Forgetting about all the reasons not to do it, Kate rose on her toes and closed the remaining distance to Rick, closing her eyes as her lips brushed against his.

* * *

Morning came quickly, they had partied well into the night and Kate felt like she had just gone to bed as the sun shone onto her face waking her. Opening her eyes the first thing she realized was that Rick wasn’t in the tent anymore, putting her hand on his place and feeling the coolness she knew he had been gone for a while.

Nothing had happened between them last night.

Well nothing but the kiss they shared.

After the kiss they had looked into each other’s eyes, each of them buzzing with happiness. The kiss had been great, but it did nothing but inflame the desire in them further, leading them closer to a place with no return.

However the local citizen had sensed that they had removed themselves from the party, and quickly ushered them back, giving them no time to act any further on their feelings. There had been a certain distance between them for the rest of the celebration, though their eyes often sought out for the other the whole time, reassuring that the other was still there.

The moment they had gotten back to the tent it had been too late for this kind of talk, both falling asleep as soon as their head had hit the pillow, though this time facing each other.

Confused of where he could be, Kate rose and opened up the tent. She had absolutely no idea what time it was, her watch laying forgotten somewhere in her bag, but it must have been very late in the morning since any traces of the celebration was already gone, and the village looked like nothing had happened.

Scanning the area trying to locate her….whatever. What where they? Friends? Almost-lovers? Husband and wife? Many definitions shot through her head, all of them seemed fitting in some ways.

Kate didn’t need to search for long, seeing Rick making his way over to her. He probably had seen her emerge from their little sanctuary at the offside of the village. As he walked over, he was looking anywhere but her, and she started to dread what he was about to say.

“Morning.” He said to her and after a few seconds he seemed to manage to look at her, finally feeling encouraged enough.

“Morning.” She murmured, waiting for what he wanted to tell her. Good or bad, she’d take it, yet still hoping it was the first.

“Good news, I managed to organize a transportation back to the city.”

Good news? Were it really good news, or not? Shaking her head at those silly thoughts, she finally could go back to the city. That was the thing she had wanted most since the moment her trip had gone wrong. Yet she couldn’t help the sinking feeling in her stomach.

Kate knew she should be happy that this nightmare was finally over, that she could go home now. However she suddenly felt more like staying. She had started to enjoy herself, enjoy the feeling of living without having to worry about anything for a change. Though if she was honest with herself, she’d have to admit that it was more about the company rather the place she was in.

But she gulped down the lump in her throat, put on the best smile she could muster up and ignored everything else. Everything was good. She could go home now, could marry her fiancé. “Great. When will be go back?”

“As soon as we packed up.” Rick answered in a monotone voice.

That soon? That was….good. Yes, it was good. The faster she could go home, the faster she could forget about all this, bury it somewhere deep so that it could never reach the surface ever again. “That’s really great. But may I ask how you managed this? After all you told me that the only transportation back to the city was the one we came here with in the beginning, and that it won’t be back for quite some time.”

Rick breathed out shrugging. “I thought so, too. But there’s this guy from the city who drives out here every three days or so. He’s trading with the people here. He came this morning and Kurary asked if he’d be able to take us with him back to the city. So, this is your lucky day, princess.”

_Lucky day indeed_ , Kate repeated these words in her mind sarcastically. “Then we should start to pack everything up.” Kate replied, but didn’t move. One part of her hoped he’d say something – anything – that would give her an out.

Rick looked like he wanted to say something, the gleam she had seen in his eyes last night gone. “Yeah.”

Sighing Kate complied with her fate, the decision of which road they’d take now made. Getting up she started pack her bag, just barely sensing Rick doing the same.

The new found flame within her dying with every move they did.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy!

**Chapter 8**

The drive back was spent in silence. They sat in a jeep, her in the middle between the driver and Rick. Kurary sat in the back with the bags. Rick had asked if he’d rather sit in the front, but Kurary assured that he’d be alright in the back, having experience with uncomfortable transportation.

Furthermore Kate felt like the drive back to the city was longer than they had taken out to the village. But that was probably just her.

It felt strange being back, the city so much different than the village; loud and hectic, instead of quiet and peaceful. She was officially back in reality.

The driver dropped them off at a market, and while Kate felt immediately lost again, Rick knew exactly where they were. Grabbing both their belongings, he told her that he knew a place where they could go to and that it wasn’t far from their position.

Following Rick quietly Kate kept her eyes on the many booths on the market. People she passed smiled friendly at her, some of the booth owner tried to sell her some items. She, as a first-time tourist, was overwhelmed by the workings on such a market place, but Rick kept his head held high, ignoring anyone trying to sell him anything.

He led them out of the filled place but kept his quick pace, and since he carried both their bags she hadn’t an excuse to slow down their speed. It was like he couldn’t wait to get her on a flight back home. Yet Kate kept quiet the whole time, not knowing what he was thinking; how he felt about their changed situation.

Ten minutes later they arrived at their destination and Kate immediately recognized it again. It was the bar were everything had begun.

Entering the bar after Rick she relished the coolness of the place; still warm, but not that brooding heat that ruled outside.

“Taio?” Rick called out, searching for his friend, putting down their bags.

Seconds later a man she had seen when first coming here and she believed to be Taio, stepped out from a back room, looking quite surprised as he saw Rick in his bar. “Rick, what are you doing here? I thought you’d be gone for a few more days.”

“Change of plans. I’ll tell you later.”

Taio filled two glasses of water and gave it to them. “Okay. What can I do for you? Do you need a place to stay?“

“Is there a telephone I could use? My phone died some time out there.” Kate asked. She definitely needed to call home and tell her friends that she was fine and on her way back.

“Sure. Follow me.” Taio said, leading Kate to the room he came from not a minute ago. He showed her where the phone stood and left her to it, returning back to the front where Rick had stayed.

Kate dialed the number of the precinct, pretty sure that Ryan and Esposito were moving heaven and earth to locate her. Kate really was blessed for the chance of working with them, knowing that she could trust them and that they had her back in any situation. She really adored her team.

“Ryan.” Her colleague answered his phone.

“Hey Ryan, it’s me.”

“Beckett? Where are you? We’ve been worried sick!”

“Yeah, it’s a long story.”

“Yo Beckett, you okay?” Kate heard Esposito asking.

Smiling at their concern for her she answered, hoping she’d calm them. “I’m fine, Espo. Thanks.”

“When your pretty boy had called and told us that he hadn’t heard from you in a while, we started to search for you. We even called the Tanzanian authorities.”

“The police is looking for me?” Kate asked stunned, but it shouldn’t really surprise her. She was on another continent. They couldn’t do much from New York, needing the help of the local authorities.

“Yeah, you’re a wanted person, Beckett.” Ryan joked.

“We’ll call and tell them that you’re alright and on your way home now.” Esposito assured.

“Thanks. Guys I have to end the call. I have to call Josh before I can start looking for a plane ticket. Just tell me quickly where we are on the case.” Kate ordered. She had left for Tanzania rather reluctant, seeing that they were in the middle of a case.

“We already caught the killer.”

“Really?” Kate asked surprised. But what did she think, of course those two would be alright without her for a few days. They were completely capable of working a case on their own. “Who?”

“The boyfriend.” Ryan explained.

“Maryweather? But he had an alibi.”

“Yeah, but we crashed it. He lied to us. That photo he showed us? A fake!” Esposito boasted, obviously proud of their achievement. And he had right to do so.

“Wow, guys. Good work. You can tell me the details when I’m back.”

“Hope you won’t disappear again on the flight back.” With that the call was ended. One down, one more to go.

Dialing the number of her fiancé’s cell phone, Kate waited for him to pick up. She was about to hang up when he finally picked up. “Yeah?”

“Hey, Josh.”

“Kate? Are you alright?! Where are you? Why haven’t you called?” Josh asked her.

“I’m fine, I’m still in Tanzania. I got a bit side-kicked, and the place I have been hadn’t had cell phone reception. Sorry that you had to worry.”

Josh sighed, seeming to have calmed down a little. “It’s okay. You’re okay, that’s all that matters. When will you be home?”

This time it was Kate’s turn to sigh. “I don’t know, Josh. I just got back to the city. I haven’t looked for a plane ticket yet. But soon, okay? I promise I’ll be home as soon as I can.”

“Okay. I miss you.”

“I …” Just as she had been ready to replay, Kate had realized that she would’ve lied if she had told Josh that she missed him too. Because frankly, she did not. She hadn’t been thinking once about him lately, instead enjoying herself.

That sudden admission surprised her. At the beginning of her trip, Kate would’ve never believed that she’d have fun spending time with an old affair in a foreign country – and even the term _affair_ was stretching it.

Though it was what it was. She had the time of her life, and the thought of her fiancé back home hadn’t crossed her mind once.

Now she felt terrible. She had spent a lot of time with another man – even _kissed_ him! – while she should be with her fiancé. The man she had agreed to marry and spend the rest of her life with.

On the other hand she had also promised _forever_ to the man she had spent the last few days with. He _was_ her husband. Still. So what did that say about her situation? They were – in some weird way – in a relationship. Spoken to each other for always and forever, while she agreed the same to another man.

God, this was a mess!

She practically stood between two men – two husbands.

With one she had a life she didn’t know she had, and with the other she had planned her life with.

Her past and future were colliding.

And the crash was going to be painful.

But the decision shouldn’t be so hard to make. She and Josh were strong. They had planned their future together, made a step-by-step plan. Josh was the man she loved, and no one will change that. Rick was just someone that had surprised her, had swept her off her feet and she had been caught off-guard by her feelings.

Her heart had acted up, that was all it was.

Nothing more.

Rick was nobody. He had no place in her life. She’ll never see him again. She couldn’t risk destroying everything for a _maybe_.

It’ll hurt, but the pain will get less. She knew this.

She and the pain were old friends.

Everything will be _alright_.

* * *

Taio walked back to the bar were his friend had remained, quite curious of the reason for Rick’s early return. He found Rick sitting at the bar twirling his glass in his hands, looking like someone had just kicked his puppy. “You okay?”

“No Taio, I’m not okay. Do you have something with a little bit more percentage?”

“Yeah, this _is_ a bar after all. But tell me what’s going on first.”

Rick sighed. “I have a big problem.”

“I gathered that already by your slumped exterior. What’s that for a problem?”

“I think I’m falling in love with my wife.”

That caught Taio by surprised. He was missing something that was for sure. His friend had never told him about a wife. Taio knew Alexis and Martha, but as far as he knew there was no one else in his life right now. Where the hell did he get himself a wife?! “How long have you been married?”

“Fifteen years.” Rick replied and had stopped playing with the glass by now, staring directly at Taio.

“And you’re _just_ falling in love with her?”

“I haven’t known that we’re married!” Rick defended himself, but held his voice even knowing Kate was in the other room. “She fascinated me, had pulled me into her spell.”

Taio filled a glass of vodka and gulped it down in one sip, quickly filling it again and another glass for his friend. They certainly will need it. “Well, she sure knows how to pull someone in, if you’ve been married now for the last fifteen years. But you’re married. You’re allowed to fall in love with her.”

“I can’t. She’s engaged to someone else.”

Yeah, the alcohol was definitely needed here. Taio was now completely lost by that information. “How are the laws in your country again? I thought you can only be married to one person? Did they change something?”

“No. That’s the problem though. We married in Las Vegas when we were young and filled up with alcohol.”

“But she’s married to _you_. She can’t just marry the other man just like that.”

It was obvious that Rick was fighting with himself. Head against heart; right against wrong, and he wasn’t happy with the obvious outcome. “She loves _him_ , wants _him_. Not me. Why should I make it harder for her than it already is? I’m not that cruel. She came all the way down here just for me to sign those damn papers, so that she can marry her fiancé.”

“Or maybe…, maybe she came all the way down here to flee.”

Rick frowned, his friend’s possibility making absolute no sense in his mind. “She’s a cop. Determined, strong-willed and too stubborn for her own good. She doesn’t strike me as someone who is frightened of something.”

“Oh no, my dear friend. Everybody has fears. She certainly does too.” Taio said and Rick mused over those words.

Was he right? Kate Beckett frightened by her own decision to marry a man? Frightened by her own future? It didn’t make sense, why would she do all this if she didn’t want it? His head was exploding with thousand thoughts, reasons, explanations and theories that could tell him what was going on with Kate.

Rick would have liked to talk a bit more with Taio about his _problem_ , but Kate emerged out of the rear part of the bar, ending their conversation. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah. I called my friends so that they could stop worrying about me.”

“Good.”

Then silence. No one dared to say something, awkwardness spread through the room. Finally Taio had enough. “Of course there’s a room for you two you can stay in for the night. My youngest son just had his first day at school today and we wanted to celebrate.”

At the word celebrate, Kate and Rick immediately looked at each other. The last celebration was rather special, albeit having made everything messier. Still, Taio was their host and it would seem rude to decline, especially if it was a party for his son. “That’s nice of you. I can’t wait for Karim to tell me all about his first day.” Rick smiled.

The party itself wasn’t as big as the one they were on yesterday. There was a lot of food, the family sat together and listened to the excited chatter of their youngest. Karim had been delighted to see Rick being with them to celebrate his big day, taking care of the fact that his favorite American of all time – according to Karim – was sitting next to him. Kate sat opposite to Rick, but their eyes only connected a few times, staying away from any contact they could.

How did everything become so awkward between them?

Currently Karim managed to talk Rick into playing with his dictaphone, wanting to tell one of his own stories into the device for Rick to listen to, as Kate’s now newly charged cell phone rung. She excused herself and walked over to the other side of the room, barely noticing someone calling out for Karim. Instead of leaving the room Kate stayed where Karim had been a few seconds ago, accepting the call. “Hello?”

“Girl, you definitely have some explaining to do.”

“Lanie?”

“What’s going on over there? You’ve went missing. No one heard anything of you.”

“Yeah, I know…” Kate started but got cut off almost instantly.

“And then I heard you called those two knuckleheads and of course your fiancé, but has there been one call to the best friend? No, not even a text!”

“I’m sorry, Lanie. There’s been a lot going on lately.”

“Uhu, I can imagine.” Lanie replied. “So, how was the meeting with your _husband_?“

Kate sighed, breathing slowly in and out while knowing her friend wouldn’t want to wait for _some_ details until she’d be home. “He’s…” He was what? Kate was definitely at a loss of words here. “… Something else.“

“He’s horrible, isn’t he?”

Kate wanted to object Lanie’s statement, Rick was definitely anything but horrible, but she quickly noticed the statement as something else; an out. If she’d just tell Lanie that she was right, this topic would be over and closed, probably forever, not being brought up again by Lanie, and that was exactly what she needed. A chance to forget about all this and pick up her life without thinking back or being reminded of this trip. “He is. You have absolutely no idea. These past few days were the worst in my life. He’s a complete idiot, a jackass. He does what he wants to do without caring what anyone else wants.”

“Oh god, I feel for you, Girl. You still with him?”

“Yeah.”

“What’s he doing now?”

Kate turned around and glanced back to the dining table, and just as she had turned Rick had looked up, their eyes meeting. However as soon as their eyes met, Rick broke the contact again and gave his full attention to the kids that had him surrounded now. Her heart beat harder at this scene, seeing him interact with kids was a beautiful scene. She sighed softly and turned back, trying to find ways to erase this picture from her mind. “I call you back, okay?”

After ending the call Kate returned back to the party, helping Taio and his wife clearing the table since Rick was trapped between the kids who wanted to hear about his latest adventures.

All the while without noticing that the young boy had left the dictaphone, recording her conversation with Lanie.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy

**Chapter 9**

Rick smiled softly at Kate who laid sleeping on the couch, cuddling into the comforting cushions. She looked beautiful in his mind, laying there without a care visiting the dream world. He pushed back a lose strain that hung into her face. Kate Beckett truly was extraordinary, evoking feelings he hadn’t felt in a very long time.

Was Taio right, should he fight for her? Fight for them, for a future they could create with each other? Was she worth risking his heart?

_Hell yes_ , screamed his heart.

He had a chance with her, a shot at something unique. And having spent the last few days with her, he knew she felt something for him, or at least she was on her way to fall for him.

Did they know each other? No.

But he’d be ready to spend the rest of his life getting to know her.

Was it love at first sight? Probably no.

Otherwise they wouldn’t have been married for fifteen years without knowing it, but stay and try to figure out a life together.

Would it be complicated? Hell yeah.

Everything would be a mess in the beginning, she was engaged and soon-to-be married after all. He’d expect nothing else but a mess in the beginning, explaining to each and everyone their decision. Yet he knew exactly what they would be fighting for, making all the trouble they’d encounter fade in comparison of their beautiful future.

He’ll sweep her off her feet.

He’d do anything he could to show her that he could be the husband she needed – she _wanted_. That he could be her _one_.

Reaching over her Rick pulled the blanket from the back of the couch and covered her up, hoping she’ll sleep safe and soundly until the morning, having somewhat of a bed for the first time in the last three days.

Walking over to the desk in the corner of the room, he sat down taking the dictaphone into his hands. He had hastily spoken his experience on it, Kate having taken up all of his attention and he didn’t care a lot about speaking in an even and slow voice. Taio had giving him a pad and a pen earlier the evening, so he started the recoding from the beginning, trying to sort out his thoughts he had while being in the village. He could sleep on the flight back home, being sure his boss would be surprised to see him back again so soon, he’d have to make sure that his experience was enough to fill two pages of their magazine.

An hour or so later Rick had to laugh quietly when he got to the part of the recording from last night, listening to Karim’s voice telling him a few of the many cool things in his school. He was just like Alexis had been. Totally excited to finally go to school, learning new things and being fascinated about things that really are just normal for everyone else, though being a kid and hearing of these things for the first time was probably pretty exciting.

He wanted to switch off the dictaphone as a familiar voice rang through the room. _“Hello?”_

Instantly his eyes flickered over to Kate, expecting her to be awake and looking at him, however he was surprised to find her still sleeping.

_“Lanie?”_

But oh, the voice came from his dictaphone. Confused he thought back, thinking hard of all the moments she could have been close enough to the device, remembering the phone call she made sometime during the evening. He remembered too that he had found the dictaphone over there too, Karim having all forgotten about it as his parents called for dessert.

_“Yeah, I know…”_

He shouldn’t listen to this. Her conversation was private, and he was definitely not one of those people who betrayed the trust of others by eavesdropping on them.

_“I’m sorry, Lanie. There’s been a lot going on lately.”_

That was quite the understatement, he thought as he reached for the device, intending to shut it off. But his movement was too fast and he knocked down the desk lamp, jumping up to catch it before it could reach the ground and eventually waking up the sleeping woman in the room.

_“He’s…something else.”_

Breathing out relieved when he lifted the lamp up, putting it back on its place on the desk, he chided himself for his clumsiness.

_“He is. You have absolutely no idea. These past few days were the worst in my life. He’s a complete idiot, a jackass. He does what he wants to do without caring what anyone else wants.”_

His heart pretty much stopped beating for a few seconds, his breath caught in his lungs. Those words, _her_ words; had she been talking about him? Well, who could she be talking about otherwise? He was the only one she spent the last few days with. It couldn’t be anyone _but_ him she as talking about.

Was this what she thought about him? Was he an idiot? A jackass? He couldn’t remember any situation he could have behaved like one of the two words she had described him with. And he definitely didn’t do anything that anyone didn’t want to, always asking if it would be fine or taking care of anyone’s needs. He was sure he had been the perfect gentleman.

_“Yeah.”_

Okay, maybe not in the beginning, but he had behaved himself lately. Especially after he got to know her better. Was everything just a game to her, just her having a good time – and a good laugh at his expense? Had she played him?

_“I call you back, okay?”_

Now he felt like a complete fool. Had he been really thinking that he’d have a shot with a woman like Kate? He had deluded himself, letting himself readily be caught up in her game.

_These past days were the worst in my life._

Her words repeated themselves over and over in his head, his heart breaking with every time they came up again. He should have known better.

Rick stared back to the sleeping form of Kate. How could he have been so wrong? He was always proud of his skill at discerning the character of any person he was meeting throughout his life. Until know he had always been right. Every time but one. Meredith.

Wasn’t his skill working when his feelings where involved? He had been extra cautious after the fallout with Meredith. Proud of the wall he had built around his heart to protect himself from any further heartbreak.

Until she came. Kate Beckett, with a wall of her own. Somehow he had lowered his wall, curious of this beautiful creature. Wanted to know more of her, forgetting all about his caution.

It was his own fault. He had set himself up for this heartbreak.

He packed his equipment back into his bag and stood up, yet too many thoughts were running through his mind. He wouldn’t be able to find sleep anytime soon. Opening softly the door, he opted to take a walk to sort through this mess of feelings.

* * *

Breakfast was spent in silence, tension was ruling over the room. Merely the presence of the kids was holding her back from asking Rick what was going on. He hadn’t said anything to her yet, not even once looking at her.

Something had happened, that was for sure. But what could it be? Yesterday everything had been fine, so when did things change so drastically?

As soon as breakfast was over Rick stood up carrying the dirty dishes to the sink, helping Taio cleaning everything up, while the kids got ready for school. Meanwhile Kate helped Taio’s wife with a few things, waiting for a moment to talk to Rick.

As soon as she saw an opportunity, she ushered Rick aside so that she could finally ask what was going on with him. However all she got was a blank expression and a shrug. “Everything’s fine.”

_No_ , Kate thought, everything was far from fine.

“I feel that something’s wrong, Rick. I’m a cop, remember? I notice these things.”

“Why do you care anyways?” he suddenly asked, his angry voice catching her by surprise.

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t care about anyone else but me, so that means I don’t _have to_ talk to you, right?”

Now she was completely confused. This was the first time Kate saw Rick being angry at anyone – at her! But she was still missing the reason behind his anger at her. She couldn’t remember anything that could case this change of behavior toward her. Sure, things had been awkward last night, but Kate still had caught him smiling at her when he had thought she wasn’t watching. “What are you talking about?”

“You should know, those were your words. That I’m an idiot, a jackass, and that I’m selfish!” He spat her word from yesterday directly into her face, this fight was exactly what he needed right now. He needed to vent, and she practically offered herself to him.

Kate inhaled sharply, remembering her words to Lanie. But he wasn’t close enough to hear her! How did he know about her conversation? “How…?”

“Karim left the dictaphone running. You stood exactly where he had left it in his haste.” Out of the corner of his eyes he saw Karim putting his shoes on, ready to go to school. “Hey Karim, how about I walk you to school.”

Karim’s eyes widened with excitement, probably already thinking about things to show him. “Really?”

“Yeah.” He said, and glared back at Kate. “I need some air anyway.”

Turning to walk to the door, Kate grabbed his arm, desperately wanting to right the wrong. To explain everything to him, the thought of him hating her weighed hard on her shoulders. “Rick, please.”

“Safe it.” He shot back. The usual warmth in his eyes gone, and they turned to an icy blue. Letting go of his arm, Kate watched helplessly how he left the house, not once looking back at her.

What had her cowardice done?

* * *

Kate waited nervously for Rick’s return, thinking about all the things she wanted to tell him. She couldn’t stand the thought that they’d part with this misunderstanding between them. But why did she care anyway? She had long ago made the decision of never seeing him again, to bury this trip – _him_ – somewhere deep.

But maybe she did deceive herself. Maybe she would have kept in contact with him after all, enjoying his presence in her life. He brought out a side of her that hadn’t seen the light of day for a long time, and she was frightened that as soon as they’d bid farewell it was gone again.

Three hours she sat at the table, staring at the door willing him to come waltzing in and listen to her. Every other worry, like finding her way to the airport and getting on a flight home faded to the back of her head.

She had hurt him, had seen it in his eyes. Those beautiful eyes with their light in them that turned cold after hearing her words.

Kate stood up instantly when the door opened and Rick entered the house. When he saw her his shoulders sagged, and he sighed while closing the door after him. The fury in his eyes was gone, leaving only the hurt visible in them.

“I’m sorry.”

“No, I’m sorry.” Rick said, though stayed back near the door, not coming closer to her. Besides this he had problems holding eye contact and she knew that she wasn’t forgiven, no matter what he was saying to her. However his apology to her took her by surprise. Why was _he_ sorry? “That was a private conversation and I had no right to listen to it.”

True. But what was done was done. The damage was done and nothing could change this.

“I shouldn’t have said those thing though, because their wrong. I didn’t mean them.”

“But you still said them.”

Kate shook her head. “Rick…”

“I got you a plane ticket.” Rick exclaimed, this time looking straight into her eyes, not once flinching or breaking the contact.

Kate was the first to break it, casting her eyes down, already knowing the answer of her next question. “What about you?”

“There was only one seat left on this flight.”

She didn’t believe this to be true, but kept silent. It was obvious that he didn’t want to accompany her back to New York, choosing to stay longer so that he wouldn’t have to spend hours in a cramped space with her. He had chosen the direction he’d go, she’d have to go into hers.

“You okay with that?”

“It seems that it wasn’t meant to be.”

Her eyes flickered back to his by his statement, the double meaning clearly hearable. He wasn’t just talking about the plane ticket. He was talking about whatever they had. _Had_ had.

Could have had.

“I could…” Kate tried one more time, but he cut her off again, her name sounding more desperate than anything else.

“Kate!”

Silence.

Both looked into the eyes of the other. Hope flared up inside her, until the hurt came back into his eyes.

“Just go, _please_.”

Trying not to show her devastation and keeping her tears for herself, Kate bit onto her lip and nodded, all the while avoiding his glance. There was nothing she could do but accept his wish.

His wish for her to go.

To leave him alone and to never come back.

With slumped shoulders she went over to her bag and picked it up. He still stood by the door, this time holding out the plane ticket for her. Kate took it and opened the door, but not before apologizing one more time.

“I really am sorry, Rick.”

Then she was gone.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy

**Chapter 10**

“Did you question the boyfriend again? He seemed pretty eager to get out of the house.” Kate asked her team. They were in the middle of a new case, but she already had a feeling who had killed their victim. Kate had a bad feeling about the boyfriend since meeting him; always being on the edge and his behavior wasn’t the one of a grieving boyfriend. Besides there were rumors that he had an affair with another woman.

It had been a week since she got back from Tanzania, immediately getting back to work and try to work her mother’s case on the side. But if she was honest with herself, she’d admit that she was only searching for ways to keep her mind off of a certain blue-eyed man.

Though he still managed to worm his way into her thoughts. Her plan to forget about him had sounded easier as it was in reality. There were even times at which she had thought she had seen him, once or twice going so far as running through a crowded place hoping she’d be able to get to him in time before he disappeared again.

But that was probably just her mind playing games. Her head taunting her heart as a punishment for the bad choice she had made. It was like her head was saying _I told you so_.

However Kate Beckett had another problem altogether.

If someone had asked her how her future looked before her trip to Africa, she’d have told them that she’ll have her own precinct and be married to a successful cardiologist.

But something had changed.

_She_ had changed.

Somewhere in Tanzania she had found a piece of herself again she had lost a long time ago, and that piece was elemental to her, making her complete again; forming her to another person, the one she had been before the death of her mother. The person her mother wanted her to be when she was grown.

But this person didn’t fit in the future anymore she and Josh had talked about many hours.

This person needed something else, _someone_ else.

Her heart ached for all the things Rick Rodgers – or Castle – stood. Freedom, passion, happiness, devotion – and the most important thing ever.

_Life._

After all this time she had needed a trip to the other side of the world to realize that yeah, she loved Josh and cared very much for him. But she wasn’t _in_ love with him. Never been.

If she’d marry Josh, she’d marry him because it was easy. He was pretty busy as a surgeon, often even being out of the country for a few months. Her marriage would really only consist on paper. They’d live the life they had been living the last two years, barely seeing each other.

“Yeah.” Esposito’s voice tore her out of her thoughts. “We’ll put observation on him. We’ll know it when he as much as leave his apartment to buy himself a hotdog.”

“Good. I want to know every one of his moves.” Kate instructed Esposito, who nodded understanding.

“Kate.”

Kate glance into the direction of the entrance of the bullpen and saw Josh waiting for her. They had planned to spend lunch together, but if he’d known the reason for the shared lunch, she guessed he wouldn’t have come in the first place.

Smiling softly at him she grabbed her coat and went over to him, accepting the kiss he gave her on her cheek.

“Guys, I’ll be on my lunch break. Call me if something should happen.”

“Sure, Beckett.”

“You’ll be the first to know.”

Both, Ryan and Esposito, spoke at the same time, and she chuckled when they looked surprised at each other.

Kate and Josh went over to Remy’s, the usual place they went to when they were spending their lunch break together. But this time Kate chose a table in the back, not wanting anyone to listen to their private conversation.

After giving their orders Josh smiled at her and took her hands in his, but Kate just smiled back at him, slowly drawing back her hands.

“Kate? Everything okay?” Josh asked confused by her behavior. He had noticed that she had withdrawn from him since the moment he had hugged her at the airport barely a week ago. Yet he had ignored it, hadn’t thought that it was something serious; merely her being stressed over the whole thing with her being married and flying over to Tanzania, adding the accidental trip out to a deserted village. All she’d need was time.

“We have to talk.”

“Okay.”

“We have to cancel the wedding.” Kate said, glancing carefully into his direction, waiting for his reaction.

“What? Why?” He asked shocked. “The wedding is in a few days!”

Kate breathed deeply out, considering how she could break the news as careful as possible. She already had hurt a man she cared for just last week, and didn’t want to make it any harder than it already was. She was, after all, throwing two years of their relationship to the curb.

Two years without her noticing that she was living a lie.

That this wasn’t want she wanted for her future.

But how was the saying? Better late than never.

“I had a lot time to think about everything, to sit down and consider everything. Our past, present and future. I care for you Josh, and I love you. You have to know that. But this isn’t what I need.”

“What do you need? Tell me, I’ll give it to you.”

Kate smiled encouragingly, hating to do what she had to do. His eyes shone with vulnerability, and it was just a matter of time until the hurt would take over. Maybe even anger and betrayal. “You can’t.”

“But Kate, I don’t understand. Everything had been fine, even perfect. What had changed?” Josh asked desperately, grabbing after every straw.

“I did. I changed, Josh. I learned a lot about myself over there. I found a part of me that had been hidden somewhere deep inside of me. A part that needs to be kept on its toes. A part that wants to see the magic of the world, and its flaws. A part that is able to look directly into the eyes of a lion and willing it to not get in my way of getting the future I need. A part that wants to be surprised.”

Josh shook his head distressed, driving a hand through his hair. “I don’t understand. You make absolutely no sense here. What do you want to say, Kate? You want more surprises? Kate, you _hate_ surprises!”

Now Kate looked sadly at him, because that was the thing that was wrong. Among all the other things she had listed. “Exactly. I _plan_ everything. You’re a successful doctor, it was logical – and safe – to be with you. But I realized that I would settle down. I love you, Josh. But I’m not _in_ love with you. I never really was.”

“And what does this mean for us now?” He asked in a defeated tone, letting her know that he already knew the answer to his question. But she understood. He _had_ _to_ ask it, had to hear it from _her_.

Her eyes flickered to her hand where her engagement ring rested on her finger, the silver band glinting in the light that came through the many windows of the restaurant. That little piece of silver that represented her promise of _forever_ to him.

A promise she no longer could hold.

Turning the ring slightly Kate slowly slipped it from her finger, with the other hand she reached for his hand and placed the ring on his open palm, and closed his hand again with both of hers. “It means that I can’t marry you.”

He pulled his closed hand back, the awaited hurt now visible in his eyes. He smiled sadly, or at least he tried to but it looked more like a grimace. “It’s him, isn’t it? The man you married all those years ago.”

“I can’t tell you that he isn’t completely responsible for this decision, but I’m not doing this because of him. I’m doing this for _me_.”

That was true. If she was seeing Rick again or not was standing in the stars. This was purely on her, her looking out for her own needs. And this was a decision long overdue.

She needed time now. Time for herself, to re-orientate herself and her perspectives of her future. And then she could search for Rick to mend their broken friendship. She’d really like for him to be in her life, not really caring which position he’d take over.

But she needed to take one step at a time.

* * *

He felt totally out of his element, wasn’t even sure what he was doing here. Maybe he should push the button that would get him downstairs again and just disappear. Leave before it was too late. Everything had been said and done. But he had gotten into his car and drove down here without thinking it through.

That was one of his worse traits. Sometimes he did things without thinking it through first.

But it was too late now. He was here and he’d have to get it over with. The faster he’d get this done, the faster he could leave again.

A shrill tone announced the opening of the elevator doors at a level, the police officer who escorted him to his destination stepped out and Rick followed him quickly. He took in the huge bullpen, seeing dozens of cops working in this space. The Homicide Department of the NYPD.

“Hey Ryan, this man wants to speak to Beckett.” The officer called out to one of the few people who didn’t wear a uniform.

The blond man glanced up and Rick felt himself eyed up and down, probably gauging if he was bearing good or bad news. “Thanks L.T. We’ll take over.”

Another man turned around, giving Rick the same treatment as the other did. But he definitely looked a bit sharper than the blond man, letting anyone consider if he really wanted to mess with him. “Who are you?”

“I’m Richard Castle.”

Both were staring with a blank face at him. It was obvious that they had no idea who he was. Kate apparently hadn’t told them anything. Maybe it was better that way. Since he didn’t see Kate anywhere, he could get this over with and slip out of here without really having to talk to her.

Still he needed to ask, needing the assurance that she really wasn’t here at the moment. “Is Kate here? I have something she needs.”

“She’s at lunch with her fiancé.”

Wow, he hadn’t thought that this statement would hurt as much as it did. He needed to get out of here! Reaching to his inner pocket of his coat, he passed the folded piece of paper towards the Latin detective. “Could you give her that, please?”

The detective opened the papers, curious of what this stranger could possibly give Beckett. She hadn’t told them anything about some papers she needed urgently. Reading the words of the document, he looked surprised up at the unknown man, finally everything falling into its place. “You’re Richard Rodgers. Beckett’s accidental husband.”

Ouch, that hurt. But truth always hurt, right? “Yeah, so to speak. Listen, I don’t want to disturb anything. She just forgot the divorce papers, and since I know she wanted to marry soon, she’ll need them.”

He may have been back for a little under a week, having stayed three more days with Taio’s family, he had to take care of a few more things, resulting in the delay of unpacking his bag. He had been horrified to see those papers tucked neatly in the side of his bag. They had totally forgotten about them.

“Sure. We’ll give her the papers when she’s back from lunch.”

Rick smiled friendly at the two, nodding his thanks and turned around to leave the building again. Now he had to move on, do the best of his current situation.

A new chapter of his life would begin soon.

* * *

Kate Beckett sighed when the doors opened to the familiar space of the bullpen. She was happy that lunch went over without a screaming match. Josh tried a few times to change her mind, but she stayed true to her decision. In the days following she’d pack up her things at their apartment and move out, probably staying with her Dad some time.

Walking over to her desk, she noticed some papers laying on the top of her keyboard. Picking them up she read the words at the top of the documents, her heart skipped a beat when she realized that those were her divorce papers.

How did they get here? She had completely forgotten about them, and as she noticed the absence of the papers, she had already decided not to marry Josh, making the need for those papers to be signed not that urgently anymore. But that didn’t answer the question of how they ended up on her keyboard at the precinct.

Glancing over to her two co-workers, she made sure that no one else was listening in before she spoke. “Guys, where do these come from?”

The two men looked up from their work and noticed the papers in her hand. “Your ex-husband was here to drop them off. Told him we’d give them to you.”

Rick had been here? When? Was he still in the building? Damn it, why did he have to come when she was on her lunch break? “When did he leave?”

Ryan shrugged. “Don’t know. Ten minutes or so?“

Not waiting for any further information, Kate turned on her heel and made to leave the bullpen again, leaving behind two confused colleagues. Opting for the stairs instead of the elevator, Kate almost flew down the stairs in her hurry.

Maybe, just maybe, she’d reach him before he was gone again.

Opening the door to the ground floor, she ignored the confused looks of anyone in the room, running through the hall and out of the precinct. Kate was immediately met by thousands of people walking on the sidewalk, she desperately searched for Rick’s figure.

She scanned the many rows of people, but she couldn’t detect him.

He was gone.

* * *

That evening Kate sat on the couch of her Dad’s, holding tightly onto the cup of hot chocolate he had made for her while being curled up into his side and feeling his arm around her. Right now she felt like a kid again. His little princess that needed his help with something he wasn’t really able to do.

Kate had told him the whole story of what happened and he had sat at her side and listened closely to her, not once interrupting her.

She couldn’t believe how much her life had changed in a matter of days.

But one thing was for sure. Katherine Houghton Beckett was in love. In love with Richard Castle, her husband. Ex-husband.

Urgh! For someone who loved to be in control of everything, she sure had lost that control completely.

Taking another sip of her hot chocolate, Kate turned her head a little to look up to her Dad. “Daddy, what do I do now?”

Jim Beckett took a deep breath before he spoke, feeling out of his element with such things. “Oh, Katie. Your mom was always better than me with these kind of things…” He said, and her eyes flickered to her cup. She had hoped that he had some advices for her, though he was right. Her mother had always been better in those things. But she wasn’t here anymore.

“…but if she would be here, she’d tell you to follow your heart. Wherever it might lead you to.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more chapter and the epilogue left....


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter.... Enjoy it!

**Chapter 11**

**One Year Later**

Kate stood patiently in the line, waiting for her turn to walk up to the massive table at the front of the queue. The flight over had given her a lot of time to think over the words she would say to him, and the queue would add some more for her to sort her final thoughts before she walked up to him, literally presenting her to him. She’ll stand there, her heart wide open for him to see and let him choose on his own what to do with it.

She was fine with every outcome as long as it would mean that they stay at least friends. It was something. Yet there was still the possibility that he’ll crush her with his decision.

Kate had taken the year to sort everything out, to find out what she wanted from life. She had moved into a little apartment in Manhattan, had started to spend her free time more with her friends and her dad instead of working the case from work at home, even put some of her demons to rest.

Even the biggest of them.

It wasn’t that she wasn’t occasionally digging into some new-found information of her mother’s case, she still was investigating it. But the case wasn’t ruling her life anymore. Kate found out a way to distance herself from it, knowing her mother wouldn’t want her to waste her life like that.

She would have wanted her daughter to _live_.

Now she was at a point in her life at which she could finally move on.

There was only one demon remaining, and she was here to take care of it today.

Here. In Las Vegas.

How ironic, she had thought as she had bought her plane ticket. It was really a coincidence, hadn’t planned to do it exactly in that city where everything had begun sixteen years ago, but as she had read that he would be in Las Vegas Kate had believed it fitting.

Two months ago she had slowly put out her feelers trying to locate him. Her first approach had been his apartment, but she had to learn that he and his family had moved out one and a half months beforehand. So after failing of meeting him at home she went over to his workplace at the travel agent a week later, however after speaking to the owner she had been told that he had quit ten months ago, leaving the company without its best employee.

Two down, Kate had to sit back and think about her next move. Originally she hadn’t wanted to use the resources of the NYPD, but it was by far the fastest way of locating him. This time Kate was searching for the name Richard Castle and found out that he has a loft in Soho now.

After doing a search on the internet, she rather quickly found out that he’d publish his first book, _In a Hail of Bullets_ , soon and that he’d be on a promotion tour starting in New York and then slowly migrating over to the west, ending in California.

She chose to stay low since then, searching for the perfect moment to approach him. Las Vegas, one of the last destinations of his tour, sounded too good to pass. Kate had quickly made the needed adjustments, taking days off of work, booking the flight over to Las Vegas and picking a hotel near the bookstore he’d be in.

Kate felt slightly bad at catching him off-guard, knowing that he wasn’t expecting her at all to suddenly stand in front of him. But she shook her head, even though they had a past in this city this was neutral ground.

Right now there were only five people left between her and Rick, steadily becoming fewer. In a matter of minutes there was only one person left in front of her. Kate now had a better view, seeing two men dressed in black on each side of Rick standing a few steps behind him whom she believed were security personnel if something should happen, a blond woman hovered over his shoulder overseeing this event. Probably his agent, she thought.

Then it was finally her time to stand in front of him, putting the book she had played with nervously while she stood in line on the table. He didn’t see her immediately, having listened to something the blond woman was whispering in his ear, though as soon as she stepped away from Rick again, his head lifted and his eyes met hers.

He was clearly surprised, mouth opened and forming an O, his eyes wide and filled with denial. His agent cleared her throat, signaling for him to continue, the queue behind her still enormous. Recovering from his shock at seeing her, he put on a friendly face and asked what he had asked the many people before her, not caring that he already knew the answer. “Name?”

“Kate.”

Rick looked down and wrote something on the first page of the book before he closed it and handed it to her. She didn’t glance at the words he wrote until she reached the bench in the park opposite of the bookstore, where she’d wait for the signing to end. Their talk was nothing she’d want to have in front of strangers, while security and his agent would breathe onto their necks.

Taking a deep breath Kate opened the book and searched for the words he had written in there mere minutes ago.

_To Kate,_

_The most extraordinary and beautiful woman I have ever met._

_May your future be always shining bright in front of you, leading you through all the darkness that will encounter you._

_Rick_

Kate smiled at his beautiful words for her, and she felt some of the uneasiness leaving her. He wouldn’t write such words if he’d still be angry with her, would he?

She hoped not.

With her new found hope bubbling up inside her Kate began to read his book, knowing it would take quite some time until he’d emerge from the back doors of the bookstore. But she’d see him the moment he would leave, having a direct and clear view at the store.

Around an hour later she noticed movement out of the corner of her eyes, eyes flickering to the store she saw Rick taking to some of the employees of the store, shaking their hands and bidding his farewell.

Quickly closing the book Kate walked over to him, almost being afraid that he’d hop into one of the many caps parking close by, but he must have seen her approaching because he stayed where he was and put his hands in the pockets of his pants waiting, his blue eyes observing every move she made resulting in making her a little nervous now when it was finally time to talk after a whole year of not hearing from each other.

There was no smile on his face, but neither a scowl. That gave her no chance at gauging his opinion of her coming here, coming to him.

“That was quite the surprise in there.” Rick said as Kate had reached him.

She bit her lip. “Yeah, I know. Sorry, I didn’t want to put you on a spot in front of a bunch of strangers.”

“Don’t worry.” He shrugged.

“Could we maybe talk somewhere?”

“What do you want to talk about?”

“About our fallout a year ago.” She replied unconsciously pulling a loose strain behind her ear.

Glancing around them for a moment he stared back at her. “I think we said everything that can be said. You apologized, I had a year to get over it. Why can’t we let the past stay where it is? Live the life we’ve been living since then?”

“Because I’d like you to be _in_ it, Rick.”

He grimaced, apparently not as thrilled about the idea as she was. As she had hoped he would be. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“I know we had a bumpy start, but we could at least try it. At the very least be friends.”

“I’m not sure I can play the role of one of your friends, smiling every time you and your husband reach a new milestone in your relationship.”

“You don’t have to stand beside me smiling, putting on a mask while watching me with my husband. Josh and I didn’t marry.”

That information seemed to surprise him. “You didn’t marry him?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

She shrugged. “He wasn’t _the one_.”

It appeared he finally caught onto the meaning of her words, her appearance at his book signing. “Kate…”

“I was frightened,” Kate cut him off, hold him back from crushing her hopes before she even had the chance to say everything she wanted to say to him. “Frightened of the feelings that blossomed in the very short time I’ve been in your company. And I tend to run when I’m frightened, chicken out. I let my fear of living rule my life. I think I’ve never intended to find real happiness after my mother’s death. It was like I had died that exact same day, laying next to her in that deserted street bleeding out.”

She took a moment, both to calm down her wild beating heart and to let her words sink in before continuing. “But I realized that I need to live my life, be happy. For both, me and my mother. She wouldn’t want me to waste my life for nothing. And I know I’m not perfect, Rick. I’m far from it, and god knows I have a lot of flaws and probably even more baggage. But a wise man once told me that flaws are important. That they make us to who we are. They make us unique.”

Rick pouted, remembering the moment he had told her those words. He should have known that his words could come back, biting him in his ass. “That’s… kinda mean. Quoting me when I’m still a bit mad at you.” He replied in defiance.

“Does it work?” She asked, a slight tuck at the corner of her lips having noticed that he hadn’t declined anything yet.

He sighed. “It wouldn’t be easy. We _both_ have baggage. You have your past and I am a package deal.”

“I know.”

“And I have to know you won’t run as soon as it could get more complicated than it already is.”

That had always been one of her bigger flaws, having one foot outside of the relationship. “I’m afraid I can’t promise you that I won’t try it, having done it my whole life. However I can promise you that I will try not to. That I’ll always be honest with you and tell you if something comes up.”

Rick glanced at something behind her, appearing to be deep in thought before he turned his attention back to her gazing into the hazel eyes of hers, and she waited impatiently his for his decision.

Then she saw a smile form on his lips and the spark she had loved in the past returning to his blue eyes, his hands reached for her and pulled her into a hug. Her own hands wandered around his neck, beaming up at him.

She closed the distance, though before their lips met she spoke up again. “There remains just one little problem.”

Opening his eyes again, slightly disappointed that her lips hadn’t completed their journey onto his lips, he glanced confused at her. “And what’s that?”

Pursing her lips she tried to hide her smile, wanting to look as serious as she could. “I’m still married to this guy named Alexander Rodgers.”

This fact was definitely something he hadn’t expected. His brows shot up in surprise. “You haven’t turned in the divorce papers? I’ve made extra a trip down to the precinct you work for to give them to you.”

“I know. But after breaking off my engagement I was in no hurry to turn them in. They’re currently laying in a drawer back at my apartment, collecting dust.”

Rick shook his head amused. “That lucky son of a bitch.”

With that he closed the distance and kissed her, swallowing her laughter and relish in the feel of her soft lips on his again. Her hands around his neck drawing him closer to her, not once loosening her hold on him.

God knew they had wasted enough time already.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only the epilogue left....


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Epilogue

**Epilogue**

 

**Three Years Later**

 

Kate parked the car near the restaurant in which a body had been found this morning. She had hoped for a day of paperwork and being home early for once, but her hopes had been crushed by the call she had gotten, telling her that there was a body.

The boys had already driven ahead while she wrote a quick message home stating she’d be late again, probably not being able to make it for dinner. She and Rick had planned the evening out, dinner and a movie and maybe something else, knowing that they’d have the loft for themselves while Martha was at a play and Alexis had a sleepover at one of her friends.

Trust her luck to interfere with their plans.

Getting out of the car, she turned towards the entrance of the restaurant only to come to an abrupt stop when she saw the figure waiting next to the door of the restaurant, leaning against the wall. “Rick?!”

Stepping away from the wall, Castle took his hands out of his pockets. “The murder is at Q3 and you didn’t tell me?”

“What are you doing here?”

“I was bored, and after I got your text informing me that you got a new case I decided to come along and help.” Castle shrugged.

“The boys told you, didn’t they?” Kate asked, already knowing the answer. Where on earth could he have gotten the specific address of their crime scene if not from them? After some awkwardness at the beginning, the boys and Rick had hit it off. Sometimes she felt like a kindergarten teacher.

“Yeah.” Rick grinned. “But Q3? Really? This place has only been open three months. I tried to get us reservations here.”

That caught her off-guard, having not known about his plans. ”Really?”

“Yeah. I’ve been dying to eat here.”

“Well, evidently, you’re not the only one.” Kate replied drily.

Castle opened the door for Kate to enter, following her inside where the boys were already waiting for them. “Where are we?”

“In the kitchen. Victim’s name is Balthazar Wolf. He’s the head chef here.” Esposito exclaimed while leading them towards the kitchen.

“Big Bad Wolf? Winner of Kitchen Wars, Season Six?”

“I know, right?” Esposito jointed into Castle’s gushing, though cleared his throat after receiving a death-glare from Kate. “He was found this morning by the pastry chef, Spike Ridenhauer, and one of the dishwashers, Juan Costa.”

Discovering the frozen body Castle leaned closer towards the body, being fascinated by the state of the body, however Perlmutter who examined the body glared annoyed at the writer. “Castle, stop! D- Do you not see the little orange cones around the body?”

“Is that actually his hand?” Castle asked disbelievingly.

“That’s the effect if LN2, commonly known as liquid nitrogen, a cryogenic refrigerant. It instantly freezes anything it comes in touch with, including Mr. Wolf.” Perlmutter uttered annoyed. “Detective Beckett, would you mind taking your husband on his leash?”

“Time of death?” Kate changed the topic, pulling Castle slightly away from the frozen body, but he didn’t seem fazed by that. He just continued to stare at the body. Castle had been with her on some of her cases, including a few on which Perlmutter had been the M.E., yet the doctor just didn’t seem to get warm with her husband – not that Castle cared about that fact.

“Well, all our normal indicators are contaminated by the LN2. I’ll see what I can do once I get to the morgue. But, uh, we’re gonna have to let him thaw a bit before we can move him.”

“This place looks like there was a struggle.”

Kate glanced towards Castle who observed the room closer. She hadn’t noticed him moving away from her, showing her that he could be stealthy if he wanted to be. There were times were she thought that he was just plain clumsy, but that could be because he had other things on his mind at those times. She loved him all the more for his flaws.

She thought back to the time they had been in Africa where he had told her about imperfection and flaws. Then he had told her that if one really loved someone, they loved him wholly, including their flaws. Kate hadn’t believed him then, couldn’t imagine loving the flaws of her fiancé of the time. But now she knew better, knew what he had wanted to tell her.

Some people hated Castle’s constant blabbering, his comments and curiosity – which got the better of him at times – and even if it was annoying her sometimes, she couldn’t imagine living without it anymore.

It had been hard for them at the beginning, like he had anticipated. The boys and Lanie had been relieved that she hadn’t married Josh and after some time they got along with Rick really well. The first meeting of Rick and her dad had been a bit awkward, though after the first two meetings things settled between them. They often met to watch a baseball match or just having a family dinner.

Family.

Kate would have never believed three years ago, that she’d end up with such a family, but she wouldn’t want it any other way. Life at the loft was always vivid, boredom was far from their life. She and Martha had hit it off immediately, her mother-in-law laughed at their story of their marriage in Las Vegas. She was always saying that it had been fate that draw them together, bound them to each other for life. Maybe she would think different if she and Martha couldn’t stand each other.

Things with Alexis had been more difficult. It wasn’t that they didn’t like each other, it was rather that they hadn’t known how to behave with each other. Legally Kate was Alexis’ step-mother, yet she hadn’t even met the teen in the years of their marriage. But how could she? After all she hadn’t even known that she and Rick had been married all those years. Kate didn’t know in which themes she could and should butt in, and in which she should better stay clear off. Should she even interfere with her education? After all Alexis still had both her parents who knew what was good for their daughter, and it wasn’t her place to butt in.

Fortunately Beckett and Alexis came quickly to a silent agreement, welcoming each other into their lives. Though their approach had been slow and cautious, they became close friends and Kate had been delighted to see Alexis coming to her more and more in the past one and a half years, asking for advice on some things her dad and her grandmother couldn’t help her with.

Until now they had pulled through any troubles they had been encountered with, and finally reached a point where they could call themselves a real family.

Shaking her head, Kate set her focus back to the presence. “Robbery?”

“No. No sign of forced entry, nothing’s missing. According to Mr. Ridenhauer and Mr. Costa here, our victim stayed at the restaurant long after everyone else had left.” Ryan stated, quickly dismissing the theory of a robbery.

“And what time was that?”

“It was around eleven.” Everyone turned to the man that had just entered the kitchen, Spike Ridenhauer. “One of our clients had special ordered a cake, and Wolf stayed behind to finish it up.”

Castle stepped closer, staring curiously at Ridenhauer. “Aren’t you the pastry chef?”

The man nodded. “Yeah, but I don’t do crazy stuff like Wolf does. I just, uh… I made the cushion, and he sculpted the crown, the heart and the jewels. But that’s probably why he had the rotary evaporator out and the liquid nitrogen.”

“Alright, after Perlmutter gets the body out, I’m gonna want CSU to come in and sweep for fibers and prints.” Beckett told Ryan who nodded in turn.

“Yo, Beckett. The owner’s here.” Esposito exclaimed, leaning his head into the kitchen. While Ryan stayed back in the kitchen, Castle followed his wife out to the dining room. He could see a blond woman speaking to one of the staff, making it apparent that she was probably the owner. Castle heard his wife gasp and almost run into her, having not noticed her sudden stop.

“Madison?” Kate exclaimed with a certain tone of unbelieving in her voice.

“Becks? What are you doing here?” The blond woman – Madison – asked surprised.

After hearing the nickname for his wife, Castle’s head whipped back to her, both surprise and amusement visible on his face from this sudden blast from the past. This could get really interesting, he thought.

Kate glanced briefly to Castle, almost daring him to speak up before she looked back at Madison. “I’m a homicide detective.”

“Shut the front door.”

“I know.”

Caught by surprise at the sudden embrace Kate found herself being pulled in, she put her arms around her friend. She felt briefly guilty for not trying to stay in touch with her friend from school. They had been thick as thieves, and Kate really had no idea at which point they had lost their special friendship. No, that wasn’t true, Kate reminded herself. She knew exactly when they had parted. She had lost a lot through her mother’s death, though most by her own doing.

Madison pulled back to look her friend into the eyes. “What a messed up way for us to reconnect.”

“Yeah.” Kate agreed, then remembered Castle standing a little apart from them observing the scene rather attentively. They had shared a lot of their pasts with each other, but the topic of Madison hadn’t been brought up yet, meaning that Castle will have thousands of questions and when he’ll get to know that they were childhood friends he’d surely be fishing for some juicy details from their teenager days. “Madison Queller, this is Richard Castle. He’s my husband.”

Normally Kate didn’t tell anyone she met on a case that she and Castle were married, simply because it was no one’s business, but this was Madison. Her friend, and Kate already planned to stay in contact this time.

“Hi.” Madison smiled and shook Castle’s hand, who returned her smile. “How long have you two been married, if I may ask?"

“A year.”

“Nineteen years.”

Both spoke at the same time, resulting in them looking surprised at each other. This topic had always been confusing. They had married – again – a year ago. Or better said they renewed their vows to each other. This time at a church with a real minister and with their family and friends at their sides, celebrating with their loved ones. Since they never divorced, Rick stubbornly counted their years of marriage from their first wedding in Vegas, while she usually counted from their second wedding.

Sighing, Kate gave in and corrected herself. He was – somewhat – right, after all, and their answer certainly caused some confusion. “Nineteen years.”

However, Castle must have been thinking the same, because she heard him correcting himself at the same time as she did. “A year.”

An amused glint was in Madison eyes, the corner of her lips twitching upwards. “You sure you’re married to _each other_?”

“It’s complicated.” Kate relented. “I’m sure we’ll have enough time to discuss this later, but right know there’s a dead man lying in your kitchen.”

“Of course. Why don’t we take a seat?”

Kate was just about to follow Madison to a table when she felt Castle leaning into her, his lips almost touching her right ear. “Old high school friend, huh? I bet she know where all your bodies are buried.”

Turning to him, Kate replied, “You can dig all you want, babe. My secrets are safe with her.”

“How can you be sure?”

“Because whatever she knows about me, I know worse about her. We used to hang out, big group of us, had a good time.”

“And what’s a good time?”

A teasing smile formed on her lips, rising to her toes Kate breathed her response into his ear. “Well, if you’re a good boy today, I will show you tonight.” She bit her lip as she saw the flabbergasted expression of her husband. He was just too easy at times.

This was exactly the expression she’ll expect from him tonight when she’ll not only show him a good time, but tell him some other news she had gotten from her doctor this morning, and she was sure he’ll be ecstatic about them, happy to know that their family will get a little addition.

Keeping her eyes on him for a moment Kate wordlessly turned around and walked over to Madison, fully aware of the ever present presence of her husband following her.

Had she been happy when he had gone behind her back and wormed his way into the precinct? No. At least not in the beginning. Had it been always easy having him following her around? No, there had been many times she worried about him.

Though she wouldn’t have it any other way. She knew she could count on him. Both, at home and at work. He had her back as she had his, and she was certain that he’d continue to do so in the future.

He’ll be with her.

At her side.

Always.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really, really hope you liked this little story.  
> Take care, guys :D

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you liked it. Would love to hear your thoughts on this one.


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